This happened over a month ago.
I (38F) have a niece (14F) who’s a high school freshman. In December, she tried out for the team at her school, and she didn’t make it.
I am a high school girls basketball coach, and when she told me about not making the team, I did tell her that at least at my school, I pretty much have most of spots picked out. Most of the girls trying out are trying out for maybe like 2 spots. Same thing with boys basketball. My own daughter (15F) is on the team and I usually have her show up to tryouts so it seems more fair. Shes good at basketball and she’s make the team whether or not I was coach. I also ask other returning players to do the same
I told her that if she didn’t qualify for the few open spots maybe she just wasn’t that good. I know she was on the AAU A-team, but my sister and her husband also do make a lot of money, so yeah.
AITA! My niece wasn’t happy with me for a while after that and my sister also got upset I said that to her.
YTA, you didn’t give her any tangible advice. You just discouraged her. Are you jealous they make money?
Yeah, YTA.
First of all, this is not OK:
>My own daughter (15F) is on the team and I usually have her show up to tryouts so it seems more fair.
“Seems” more fair? Either your daughter earns her spot on the team or she doesn’t. You being the coach shouldn’t be a factor.
>know she was on the AAU A-team, but my sister and her husband also do make a lot of money, so yeah.
And here, you’re telling a teen that they’re “not that good” and insinuating that she got her spot on the AAU team because her parents bought her way in.
I really hope you’re a better person IRL than you come off as in this post.
YTA – So you put down something your niece enjoys, have you seen her play? You could just say maybe the other players who made the team were better than her.
So, you are a basketball coach and instead of giving her pointers or advice you just said maybe she wasn’t that good. Wow. Perhaps as her aunt, you could have taught her a few things over the years, so if she’s not good, maybe it’s on you? Or maybe your just not good at being a coach. YTA
Damn, I would hate to have you as my coach. Of course YTA.
YTA. You give your own daughter preferential treatment (by your own admission – “as usually have her show up to tryouts so it seems more fair”???) and then tell your niece she’s likely not good enough, when, by your own admission, she’s competing for a minimal number of spots? Instead of encouraging her to improve, your message is “you’re shit, I’m not sure why you’re surprised”? It also sounds like you’re jealous your sister has money to put her on the other team.
A 38 yr old woman wrote this post? This reads like a 6th graders creative writing assignment. YTA for a lot of things but specifically for being a horrible coach cause if you talk to family like this I can’t imagine how you sound to others.
Of course yta? It’s youth sports. How are you a coach? You encourage her to do the work and tell her how to improve to give her a better chance for her next opportunity. Not just say maybe you suck.
And it sounds like your daughter could have an atrocious tryout period and she’s still automatically on the team. You sound like a fucking nightmare.
YTA- there had to have been a better way of talking to your niece than saying maybe she’s just not good.
Have you ever watched your niece play? Have you seen the other girls on the team she tried out for play? Does your niece’s school really only have one girls’ basketball team? No freshman team? JV?
(YTA, to be clear. Just asking questions to narrow down why.)
YTA because how can you say shes in the team because her parents makes money when your daughter is in the team because YOU are the coach??
YTA, 100%. That was totally unnecessary. Also WTF does her family’s income have to do with it? And it sounds like your daughter does benefit from you being coach if she only goes to tryouts to “make it seem more fair” lol
You sound like a coach I would never have wanted for myself or my kid, to be honest. You saying you have your own daughter show up so “it seems more fair” smacks of your inability to develop talent.
Why not offer her some useful advice?
YTA
YTA
What the actual fuck???
You shat on a 14 year old girl’s dream.
You’re a bad coach. Terrible. Horrible even.
The right thing to do was, “I’m sorry you didn’t make the team. Would you like us to practice together so you’ll be ready for next year?”
You need to apologize right now. Geez.