Hey everyone! Back in about September a group of friends of mine (more specifically my brother, a friend of mine and a friend of his) decided we wanted to play d&d. Two of us, including me, had never played before. Someone only one or two sessions and the other person had always been dm. They didn’t want to do that again, so I said I would dm.
I got to work enthusiastically, and started messaging updates in October (stuff like ‘the story is coming together’ and ‘I’m almost ready’) I then also started asking for character sheets, cause I needed them for my story.
I decided to make a homebrew world, with original monsters and stuff. (Not smart for a first time DM, but I had a cool idea haha). I spend a LOT of time on the story, planning maps, npc’s, fights and whatever. I spend a lot of hours on it.
But none of the players replied to my texts in October. Or when I texted again in November.
I met with my friend is November and we made her a character sheet together (after I brought it up)
Then in the beginning of December I brought up to my brother that I was a bit upset that nobody responded to anything. He suggested sending a link where everyone could enter the dates the could play so there would be a deadline of sorts. So I did that.
My friend filled it in immediately. My brother and his friend did not.
I waited until a few days a go to bring it up again (in the meantime no texts or nothing). My brother then filled in the date picker thing. He reminded his friend twice and then she also filled it in.
I met up with my friend, and after I brought it up myself again, she said she didn’t actually want to play anymore. I didn’t care if she didn’t want to play, I was just a bit upset that she didn’t just tell.
Anyways, I send the date we could all play and once again no replies. I left the group chat this morning.
Now I’m worried if I acted to harshly. AITA?
(Sorry for the long rant, and English isn’t my first language so my apologies for any weird stuff lol)
You’re not the asshole. You put in a lot of time and effort, kept trying to communicate, and were mostly met with silence. Leaving the group chat without saying anything might feel abrupt, but after months of being ignored, it’s understandable. It doesn’t sound harsh it sounds like you were tired of carrying something no one else was invested in.
NTA no one was replying and they clearly weren’t that interested, you’re not gonna want that everytime you have to get together when you’re already putting in the work.
YTA. You made it about yourself and “the time you spent” and wanted to make a scene. All you had to do was stop texting and it would have died on its own as no one seemed actually interested. You wanted people to know they upset you.
NTA, nah man. Its clear you put in the effort. However, if your friends had some sort of conflict of scheduling or simply lost interest that should have been communicated much earlier. But i do hope you eventually do find another group of players to DM who actually appreciates the effort So you actually get to see the fruits of your labor. Coming up with a homebrew world and then not being able to see it get played out is heartbreaking.
NTA. You put in all the effort and got radio silence in return. Leaving a ghosting chat is fair DMing a game takes work, and you don’t need that stress from people who clearly aren’t invested. Time to save your energy for people who actually want to play.
Doubt they even noticed you left mate, no one was interested no arseholes here.
You’re right. Haven’t had any texts from my brother or his friend. They definitely didn’t notice lol
NTA. If they’re not gonna participate/respond then there’s no reason for you guys to be in a GC.
NTA. You’re good.
NTA – They didn’t respect all the time and effort you’ve been putting into this and likely won’t take anything seriously anyway. Save yourself the headache and play with people who will respect all the work that goes into setting this up. Trust me, I’ve been in similar situations before as someone who usually DM’s