Context: we agreed that wifes friend will visit and sleepover for a few days. The arrangement was made like a week ago. However, once the friend arrived turns out the said friend is having fever, intense coughing and taking medicine for her condition. I wasn’t warned about this. This matters to me, because I’m on the home run of my trial period in my new job where suddenly getting sick and missing work would potentially influence my career. I’m upset by this and a bit confused whether I lack empathy for the friend in this case. Some context – the friend is crashing at our place to save some money by not renting an AirBnB while in town to sort out their personal business. I’m juggling uni and my new work position at the moment, so the routine is rough as it is.
NTA. You have a valid reason to be upset, Your wife should’ve warned you + empathy doesn’t mean risking your own health and career.
NTA
Especially in this day and age when the flu can turn out to be a Covid-19 infection, we don’t have house guests who have symptoms. I’m immune compromised as is my mother in law and the spread prevention practices of OTHER households impact us. So even outside of your work consideration, basic caution could save some stranger you meet at a grocery store.
She’s choosing not to cancel her trip because of illness so she should rent. It that’s truely not possible you should all be masked and she should follow quarantine protocol in a bedroom, not mingle.
NTA-I would never go to someone’s house if I was sick. And I would hope that my friends would care enough to not bring sickness into my home.
NTA the friend should have gotten a hotel room etc. I can’t imagine being so egoistical to willingly spread your germs around just bc you’re too stingy to pay for a room and potentially endanger the people kind enough to offer a bed in the first place.
NTA. Your wife and her friend are very inconsiderate.
NTA because bringing a contagious guest into a high-stakes environment without warning is a total betrayal of your boundaries and your hustle. You are literally in the home stretch of a trial period, and risking your career for a friend’s Airbnb savings is a massive ask.
NTA
Friend should have canceled/ postponed trip.if at all possible. Given that the plans were made only a week earlier, it does not sound like (1) friend traveled by plane or (2) she was coming for some difficult to reschedule legal or medical procedure. Moreover, if she is this sick, she should not be going out and about. Therefore, her whole reason for needing to stay with you should no longer exist. [IS she still going about her personal business?]
At a minimum, she owed it to you and your wife to call you at the onset of symptoms to let you know she seemed to be coming down with something. Your wife owed it to you to let you know as soon as she knew. (It’s not clear whether the friend or your wife failed to share the info.)
You deserved the chance to discuss with your wife how to handle things.
You absolutely have reason to be upset. I hope the friend and your wife are at least practicing good medical hygiene and isolating as much as possible.
NTA. You absolutely should have been warned
NTA. Is very irresponsible from your wife and her friend to do that. I understand that she wants to help her friend, but people act like they are the only ones who get sick and aren’t spreading their germs to everyone else. If the case was that she got sick already being there, could be different, but still should make everything possible to not get you guys sick.
Few years ago I declined the invitation from my friend to spend new years eve with her and her husband, they both were very sick and I get sick easily. So I said no, she said she didn’t want me to spend new years eve alone, and I told her that I was still going to be alone the rest of the following days, and that I much rather spend them alone but healthy.
NTA, there is a highly contagious flu strain going around. The strain had mutated after the latest vaccine was created, so it isn’t touching it. Schools in MN have to close if a certain percentage of students are out with the flu, if winter break hadn’t started my school would have to have been closed. Other people in my area who’ve had it were knocked out 3-4 days. Don’t risk it!
Yeah if friend was taking medication, she knew she was sick. Exposing her hosts to her illness is a really inconsiderate thing to do.
UpdateMe
NTA. Friend is TA because if she was that sick she should have cancelled the trip or made her own accommodations. Wife is also TA depending on if she knew her friend was sick beforehand and for not addressing the issue immediately (less TA but still a bit so). We’d need more info as much of this sounds like poor communication and people making assumptions.
We should start a mask debate.
Make the friend wear a mask. Also, wash your hands a lot and use sanitizer everywhere.
NTA. You should have been warned, or she should have stayed home until she was well again.
NTA but your wife’s friend is for still coming to stay when they are ill