My wife Cece and I live across the country from my family, so my parents have not spent a lot of time out here. This past Christmas mom and dad treated themselves to a trip out here for two weeks.
A few years ago Home Depot was selling plastic statues of a folk saint called Santa Muerte. Cece likes her and built an outdoor altar where she leaves offerings and can hang out. Her mom also liked the saint, and I think this is something that connects them after her death.
There are a lot of ideas and associations with SM. Drugs and bad groups have co opted her as their symbol, but she does not belong to them. She is a figure for weirdos and outcasts of all kinds. But still the bad associations do exist. A lot of it is media hype.
My parents were here for a whole 2 days before Mom noticed the statue. When she did, she said “Oh!” like she was scared and went back in the house. She kept looking nervously out the kitchen window. Then she asked if we could take it out and hide it because it scares her. I said no, that’s Cece’s, and it’s just a statue. Mom had Dad ask me to move it. Again, I said no.
For the rest of the trip, Mom refused to go in the back yard and wouldn’t even stand near the windows where you can see it. She would make a big show of turning her back to the window. When they were leaving, my dad told me that he was disappointed in me for not caring that my poor mom felt scared the whole trip. I said it was rude of him to expect me to cover up something that means this much to Cece, and that it was just a statue.
It is in no way scary to look at. We are also NOT a religious family. I was not baptized or anything and have gone to church like twice. I am wondering if I am the asshole for not accommodating my mom since they came all the way out here for once.
NTA. 1. It’s your house 2. Why is a grown woman afraid of a statue?
NTA. I can see why a Santa Muerte statue could be startling, especially to non-Mexicans, Mexican cultures have a very different way of thinking about death than most Anglos do.
But she was being dramatic, it’s just a statue, and she remained “frightened” of it for weeks? That’s a call for attention. And your dad is accustomed to catering to it. Your home, your decor, your shrine. If she was that frightened by a statue perhaps she should have left, or stayed in a hotel.
What does she do during October, when there are skeletons and ghouls all over? Does she keep all her curtains closed so she doesn’t get scared of the Halloween decorations? This was definitely an attempt at control and attention.