I (18f) have a gay best friend (17m). We’re very playful with each other and tease each other all the time. When i first got a boyfriend, he said something along the lines of “girl he’s fine, pass him to me when you’re done.” i laughed and we moved on.
he recently got into a relationship with a very attractive guy from his college. he’s like 6’4, he plays football, and he’s really sweet. my best friend is fat, and don’t get me wrong, he’s a cutie, but his boyfriend is like.. on a model level of attractiveness.
him and i were hanging out one night, and i said “your man is hot, give him to me when you’re done with him.” i assumed he would laugh, but he gave me a weird look. i said “girl he’s out of your league, i should be with him instead.”
he got pissed off, and called me an asshole, and left.. i called him after, but he never responded, he never tried to call. i texted him apologizing, and explained that it was just our normal banter, and let him know that i never meant to cross a boundary and didn’t mean anything i said.
this is his first relationship, and i’m worried that i might’ve fucked up my friendship with him.
YTA, you’re a weirdo
I guess I can see why you thought the first comment would be fine with the context, but I’m baffled that you noticed that it wasn’t well received and then doubled down by insulting how your friend looks? You told him he wasn’t hot enough to be with his boyfriend and that you deserved him more, of course YTA.
The first comment you made, calling back to the joke he made earlier, was fine, but your follow-up comment about the bf being out of your friend’s league was so out of line and rude. Your note here about him being fat makes it clear that the comment wasn’t made entirely in jest either. YTA.
Yeah, you’re definitely TA
YTA – One thing to make the comment that he made to you about yours, but your follow comment crossed a line.
YTA. You called your friend ugly and undeserving of a conventionally-attractive boyfriend, in addition to reducing the boyfriend to JUST his appearance, and you’re wondering why he didn’t take kindly to that? The only upside to this is that you’re at least young enough to hopefully learn not to talk to your friends (or anyone) that way.
YTA, the first comment was really iffy to begin with but the second one was mean as hell.
YTA. The first comment was ofc mostly fine but you should have apologized the second you saw he didn’t respond well instead of doubling down and insulting him????? Like???? Girl. You didn’t burn that friendship you fucking nuked it.
YTA.
Him telling you your then BF is cute is not the same as you telling him he’s not good looking enough for his BF. How would you feel if someone told you to your face you’re not attractive enough for the person you’re with? It’s not funny, it’s not banter. It’s really mean and completely unnecessary. You better hope he’s a better person than you and forgive you one day.
YTA and you’re a mean friend. Who cares what you think about how your friend looks, what matters is how his boyfriend views him. You think this attractive person is too good for you friend and you said so. It wasn’t playful banter no matter how much you think it is. And judging by your friends reaction, they’ve either thought something similar or others have said something along the same lines. You were a bad friend here and you need to apologize.
YTA. Did you really need to ask? Learn to be a real friend.
YTA. Read the room. He obviously didn’t like the first comment, so why make the second?
YTA. The first comment was just reciprocating what he said to you before. The second comment was cruel.
Yeah YTA. Just because your friend is over weight does not mean his bf is “out of his league”. If they like each other and wanna be together leave it at that and apologize to your friend.