Ok so for context I have a best friend, lets call her Jess for privacy reasons. She had a sister whose name we’ll call Jane.
Now we were on call playing roblox then she suddenly left the call game and texted a few minutes later she texted me that her sister was dead.
For more context, her sister was brain dead and required medical attention and so her mom and her sister AKA Jane would always drive to a city that was hours away because we live in a small town with a hospital who can’t help with her condition.
Back to the story so as I was saying yes, Jess told me Jane was dead because she was extremely sick and called me a couple of days later telling me to tell our friends about it because it hurts her emotionally and physically when she has to keep saying that her sister is dead. I get it but I automatically assumed she wanted me to tell our friends when the winter break was over. Dont ask me why I just thought that is what she meant to say.
So I didn’t tell anyone. Then she texted me asking why i didn’t tell our friends and I responded with "mb".
I’m guessing she did not like that because I asked one of our mutual friends when school started if she was mad at me. She replied that Jess was mad at me because of the way I responded.
So I sent an apology over text because she wasn’t in school she has left me on read and screenshotted the apology.
Im guessing to show to our other friends. I’m truly sorry for what I did or what I didn’t do and I don’t know who to talk to about this. AITA?
Edit: thank you so much for your feedback, I will sincerely reflect on my actions and Jess said she wanted to talk in person. Again thank you and I appreciate your criticisms
I’m not sure this is the right subreddit for you. Since you’re here, I’m obliged to say YTA.
Just writing “mb” to a message like that, when you hadnt done what you were asked to, regarding the death of a sibling, makes this beyond the pale. You clearly didnt even try, neither to communicate nor do what she asked. And simply writing “mb” is just such a pisstake, deeply, deeply insulting.
Your one shot at redemption is a full-throated attempt at a genuine apology and explain your lapse in judgement and reasoning. If I was your ‘friend’, I’d have written you off as a friend entirely already though.
Yta obviously? Her sister died and you didn’t follow her simple request to let people know on her behalf. It’s completely okay if you felt uncomfortable with this because that’s a lot of responsibility and you sound young. However, you should’ve let her know this rather than just leaving it and then putting her in an unknowing position whilst grieving.
Also the ‘mb’ thing, obviously a huge A-hole move. Who says that to someone who’s bringing up an issue with them, let alone when that person has just experienced a close loss? Take this as a lesson, and understand if she no longer wants to be friends.
Of course you’re the AH. The fact you even have to ask is baffling. “MB”? That’s your response to your best friend sister’s death?? Genuinely, are you on some kind of spectrum or or have personality disorder of some kind because you have a completely staggering lack of empathy
>are you on some kind of spectrum
Not everyone who is on the spectrum shows a complete lack of empathy to others. Your comment is extremely insensitive, ironically since you are criticising OP for similar behaviour.
Kindly educate yourself.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neurodivergent-knowledge/202601/autism-and-empathy
– *The stereotype that autistic people do not have empathy is incorrect and causes harm.*
– *Many autistic individuals experience extreme empathy, sometimes called hyper-empathy.*
– *The stereotype that autistic people do not have empathy likely stems from the double empathy problem.*
mb, YTA
YTA
She asked you to tell your friends. Of COURSE she meant to do so right then or as soon as possible.
And then your response when she asked you why you didn’t do as she asked was to proverbially shrug and go “my bad” – like you forgot to pick up milk or something.
It’s upsetting for a grieving person to have to keep repeating the news and answering questions. OP, you agreed to make the calls but decided it could wait. This isn’t news you sit on. That’s forgivable but when she texted you, upset you hadn’t done it, you text “mb”? The most insincere form of apology known to man? No wonder she’s taking her time getting back to you. She’s questioning her whole friendship with you. Yeah, YTA.
YTA Your BEST FRIEND requested you to tell your friends about her sister’s death which definitely isn’t easy for her to say again and again. And then when she asked you why you didn’t tell your friends you replied with “mb”. That’s so insensitive.
Are you SERIOUS with this text?
I’m surprised you HAVE friends!
Gross 😠!!!
YTA who in their right mind, would answer like that in a situation like this? Your friend lost her sister, and is dealing with a lot and you can‘t even be arsed to type out words??
YTA. The whole point of having you tell your shared circle of friends is so that everybody would know and she wouldn’t have to keep saying it. Of course it needed to be done ASAP. It should have at a minimum been obvious that it should have been done before school resumed so everyone would know and not be talking to Jess about the break without already knowing what happened. “Did you have a nice holiday, Jess?” “Uh…my sister died.” That’s exactly what she was trying to avoid.
Yo, OP, you’re the epitome of a digital age ghost. In a world where everyone’s sharing their breakfast, you ghosted on sharing a friend’s tragedy? Not cool, man. Not cool.