This is such a hard situation and I need some outside perspectives.
(F-Fiancé, J-Fiancé’s friend)
I (28F) recently got knocked off of J’s motorcycle, I’m okay but still injured (unable to work right now). A driver pulled out of a side road without looking and took me out, they admitted full fault to the insurance company.
I was borrowing J’s bike as when mine broke down I needed a commuter, and he offered to lend me his bike as he doesn’t use it. I got insured, offered to pay him and he turned my money away.
Cut to today. He has been calling F 10+ times daily since the accident on Tuesday. Not asking him how I’m doing, but trying to extract money from us because he is “out of pocket”. I reminded him that I didn’t cause the accident and the insurance will pay out and supply a hire bike in the meantime, but we needed his licence details to insure him on it. Turns out he doesn’t have a licence and cannot be insured. This pissed him off. He said since he can’t ride the hire bike, we need to pay him £50 a month until he either gets a new bike via insurance, or a cash out from them.
F told him this was ridiculous and to just wait, we’re currently not in a good place emotionally, physically or financially and he would get what he was owed. I told him I was grateful for him lending the bike to me, but I didn’t know it would lead to all of this.
J is now demanding random favours from F, such as fixing his plumbing because we “owe him” and is holding us morally hostage. He claims insurance could take 6-12 months to pay out, and he needs the bike NOW.
I spoke to F, and he’s sick of it too. I said we should just ignore him and if needs be, he can take me to court. Nobody signed anything as we thought it was friends doing friends favours, but I feel awful as this could end their friendship. I was riding the bike, but I wasn’t at fault for the damage.
I don’t know what to do. Any insight would be appreciated on how to resolve this amicably, thank you.
I don’t quite follow. He loaned that bike because he wasn’t using it. He can’t be insured. He can’t ride the loaner bike. Now he’s inconvenienced and wants money? Tell him to jog on.
This was exactly what I was thinking. He wouldn’t explain HOW he was out of pocket, but I owe him the money he’s losing? He’s not the smartest, but I do feel guilty about his bike.
Of course you need to fix or compensate him for the bike. But other than that he’s trying to profit from your accident.
Don’t feel sorry.
The only way he could be out of pocket is if he’s actually renting the bike out to other people.
But quite frankly it sounds like he just trying to get money out of your injury- insurance.
He doesn’t even have a license, so there’s no way he could ever legally drive that bike on public roads!
So yeah, you communicate once more what you already said about the insurance, what they need to get him the temporary replacement, and that you personally don’t owe him anything more than that.
And if this so called friend keeps harassing you then temporarily mute him.
Stop doing things for him, also goes for your partner..
And good luck with your injuries.
NTA. Once insurance is involved, this stops being a “friend favor” situation. Calling repeatedly, demanding cash outside insurance, and claiming you “owe” unrelated favors crosses a line. That’s not how friends behave.
Greedy loser doesn’t even have a license to ride a damn bike. Tell him to chill, he will get reimbursed for the cost and then dump this so-called friend
“If I had the money to just replace the bike upfront, then I wouldn’t have ever borrowed yours. I’d have just bought a bike. Obviously I do not have excess money just sitting around. This whole situation sucks, it’s not my fault, and the insurance is dealing with it. All we can do is wait.”
Before he had a bike he couldn’t ride, he is in the same situation minus a bike not sitting in his driveway. He’s not out immediate money and insurance should make him whole. He’s just trying to take advantage of an unfortunate accident.
Surely NTA from my perspective it seems like this guy is trying to make you feel bad and give him money, really looks like manipulation to me
NTA, you or your fiancé do not owe him anything the insurance company does.
Do you have an attorney?!
If not, get one now.
My husband was walking out of the local grocery store two years ago and was hit by a drunk driver. The driver admitted it was his fault. Even with our attorney’s help, it took over a year to get his insurance to pay fully, and then nearly another year for our insurance to pay out.
Yes, it will take time to collect on the insurance, but you are most definitely NTA and your fiance’s friend is not a friend.
NTA
J clearly doesn’t understand how insurance works. They’ll get the check within a couple of weeks tops. 6-12+ months for settlement would be the timeline for any damages related to injuries, and only then that would be if it went to trial.
I’d stop communicating with J and only reach out once the insurance company asks for the title to be signed over so they can release the payment. Then never talk to them again. They aren’t a friend.
NTA. Friend lends you a bike they weren’t using, friend suddenly needs a bike NOW (without a license). Smells like a cash grab.
I hope you are OK and can get back to life soon.
NTA
Tll him: Insurance will pay, and IF They don’t pay he can ask again.
As for “random favors”, make it a HARD NO.
NTA
What’s his story regarding why he suddenly needs to ride a bike?