I’ve been dealing with recurring skin infections for almost two years now (this is like the 6th one). My wife says it’s because I’m “too stressed.”
We have two young kids (3 and 1). Today I took both of them out in the stroller for long walks so they would fall asleep. I walked over 20,000 steps. I’m not in great physical shape, and that level of walking completely wiped me out. By the time we got back, one of the kids was already asleep.
I asked to take a short nap, and my wife got angry and said I shouldn’t. Well, she actually didn’t. But she did it implicitly since she asked me to do some bank shit. When I pointed out that I’m exhausted and that stress and lack of rest might literally be making me sick, she accused me of being selfish and “calling her out.”
I’m honestly confused. I feel like it should be obvious by now that my body is struggling, especially since this has been happening for two years straight. I’m not trying to dump responsibilities on her. I just needed some rest. I feel depleted when I wake up every morning, as if I’m sleeping at nights but not actually resting.
So… AITA for wanting to take a nap in this situation?
Why is walking 10 miles (when you’re not in proper shape to do so) a solution at all? Was that your idea or your wife’s?
Second on the question, you mention stress, being out of shape and repeated skin infections; why are you walking nearly ten miles? Was that something your wife insisted on?
This. 20,000 steps isn’t just a short walk. That’s a 2-4 hour HIKE. Why one earth would you just randomly decide to take the kids out first a 4 hour walk?
So how much is your wife contributing? Was your wife busy at the time?
And like the other comment said walking for that long when you know you’re exhausted and have kids to care for is way too much.
If your wife was busy, YTA.
What has your Dr, said about the recurring skin infections?
I’m not a doctor but it takes a very long course of antibiotics to clear persistent skin infections and you should take care of it because it could be staph. Your wife isn’t a doctor either (unless she is) and recurrent infection over two years isn’t just because of stress.
That seems like a really long walk out of nowhere and I feel like there are some facts unstated. Were you trying to avoid your wife or the bank stuff?
INFO: do you do this a lot? Does your wife often take on a lot of responsibilities because you’re too sick?
If you’re waking up feeling like you haven’t rested, you could be dealing with a sleep apnea issue. ESH, you shouldn’t be pushing your body outside what you can tolerate, and walking 20,000 steps is way beyond what you can tolerate right now. Your wife should be more understanding of how you’re feeling, and in this very small snapshot seems like her reaction may have been uncaring. However, I’d be interested in what she was doing, what responsibilities she was going to have to pick up, how many times you’ve had similar spats, etc.
How are you taking care of your skin infection? Ie like getting to the root cause. Have you talked to a doctor about your lack of sleep? ( maybe have sleep apnea!?)
Why would you walk 20,000 steps if you’re not in shape?
There is more information that is missing.
INFO: why walk that much? seems a bit like an overkill, especially if you’re sick with skin infections + you don’t do it regularly?
Sounds like you have been sick for the majority of your kids’ lives. And you aren’t properly addressing it. If it is MRSA Staph you NEED multiple courses of strong antibiotics that aren’t just penicillin. It can also spread to your family. If it isn’t an infection, then chronic. Have you actually been to a specialist? Dermatologist, you know, skin doctors?
If you’re so sick, how can you walk 10 miles? And you walked to avoid “bank shit.” Something isn’t adding up with your story.
We need more information. Do you work for a living with these chronic infections? How much of the childcare do you do besides pushing in the stroller and fun dad stuff? You have had these health issues for 2 years, why did you bring another child into the mix?
From the limited info I’d say you’re well into YTA territory.
You need to tire your kids out, not yourself. Walk to the play ground, get them running around and then they’ll sleep as you walk home. Now they are tired and not you.
Maybe you were trying to play the hero – “look how far I walked for my kids” but to your wife it may look like self-sabotage so you could absolve yourself of other tasks.
I feel like there’s a lot of lies in here.
Like, you say you’re out of shape and don’t feel good, but yeah, sure, lets take the TODDLERS on a 10 mile walk. Also, they sat in the stroller for the whole 10 miles? You must have been out there walking for HOURS.
Did you throw out a high step count to garner sympathy?
Did your wife ask you to do the ‘bank shit’ before or after your ‘walk’?
“I feel like it should be obvious by now my body is struggling,”-‘but I won’t go to the doctor to find out exactly what is wrong, even though we have 2 young children in the home that need constant care’, especially when one was JUST BORN while you were dealing with this \~mysterious\~ illness. So your wife has probably (bc you gave us no info) been taking care of a toddler AND an infant! on her own while you were sick. (Edited because I put 2 ‘was’ instead of ‘one was’)
INFO: How long has she waited for you to do the bank stuff? Why did you choose long walks when you are unwell and not up for 20k steps? What medical treatment have you undertaken for the skin infection? Has it been diagnosed professionally?