So last night, my friends and I were out bar hopping in Nash to have some fun. I didn’t want to drink so I stayed sober, and about 1 out of the remaining 4 people in my group decided to stay sober as well. Towards the end of the night, this girl, who I will refer to as S, comes up to me saying she lost her friends and asked if she can borrow my phone to call them, to which I oblige.
During the course of this interaction, I noticed she was exceptionally drunk because she dropped my phone a couple times, couldn’t stand still, stumbling around, slurring words, etc. Seeing this and her failing to get ahold of her friends I was slightly concerned so we go sit on a bench out on the roof while she continues to try to call. At this point, my friends are ready to go and let me know.
Problem is, S has my phone and is insistent that she needs to contact her friends, and won’t give it back, which isn’t a huge deal to me. Well, my friends who were also getting pretty drunk, tell me that she’s not my problem and that we need to go (just cuz they were tired not because we had something planned or urgent). After failing to get ahold of her friends a little longer, S complains that she’s cold so in an attempt to compromise, I decided the best course of action was to take her down stairs to the first floor where they had benches she could sit in the heat while she waited for her friends.
Like I said earlier she was pretty drunk so I was having to hold her so she didn’t trip down the stairs or something. While going down, she kept insisting that she needed to call her friends, so she sat on the stairs and kept calling people for like 5 – 10 minutes. I was finally able to convince S to keep coming down the stairs and luckily, before we reached the bottom, we ran into some people that she knew and they took her from there. The whole interaction maybe took 20 minutes tops.
When my friends regrouped and we were in the car, they were complaining that I delayed our departure and that I didn’t have to do that and they were mildly upset that I made them wait. I feel like I’m going crazy or something because why are they getting mad that I decided to help someone who needed it, and even if I did want to she was holding my phone pretty tight and it just feels wrong to wrench my phone out of this confused girl’s hands, which I told them but the kept repeating that it wasn’t my problem? So Reddit, AITA?
NTA. You helped someone and they wouldn’t wait? Not your fault
Yes it wasn’t your problem but you are a kind person and it was a very nice thing to do. If world had more people like you in it instead of people like your friends it would be a very different place to the one we actually have…
Definitely NTA.
I agree that OP is NTA but I disagree with it not being their problem.
I would say that we all have a moral obligation to help someone who we can clearly see is in trouble. In this case, they did exactly the right thing.
NTA.
You did what good people do – helped a vulnerable person in a time of need. You kept S safe. Your friends are being short-sighted about this.
Don’t feel bad for helping S and don’t believe your friends when they tell you that you shouldn’t have helped. Remind them that this could happen to anyone, including them, when out bar hopping and getting drunk. Surely, they would want someone safe to help them out.
NTA you probably saved that girl from being taken advantage of. Your friend’s attitude could be due to the fact they were drunk, I would talk to them about it and explain the situation now that they are sober and see their reaction.
INFO: Did the friend who was also staying sober in the group telling you to just leave?
It’s not of the point of this story but there is nothing worse than trying to enjoy a night out and the self-appointed CEO of the group constantly insisting it’s time to move onto the next bar. Same people who try to order food “for the table” at dinner
NTA. I think everyone should be able to appreciate someone helping someone else in need.
NTA. Your friends are bad people. They just showed it without any doubt. Now you know.
You did a good thing, don’t sweat your friends. I’m sure they would have appreciated you doing the same if it was them!
NTA. It’s incredibly unkind to leave someone so vulnerable unattended. You did a good thing.
NTA. Your friends were drunk and had bad judgment. You were clearly in the right. You can casually mention it in the group chat this morning in case any of them are still feeling (emotionally) annoyed with you but didn’t take in (cognitively) what was happening at the time. I’m sure they’ll realize in the light of day that you did absolutely the right thing and that’s one of the responsibilities of the sober person in any group. Cheers to you and thank you for doing what’s right instead of what’s easy.
Your friends had no idea if it was going to be 20 minutes or 2 hours.
I worked security for YEARS. We (I) handled this kind of thing regularly. What was the problem here that you wouldn’t trust the bar personnel?
I’m sorry, I know you think you were helping … but you did everything wrong … to the point I question if this post is BS.
You took a drunk girl outside onto a rooftop and sat her on a bench where her friends would have no chance of finding her??? And let her into your phone? Did you think the bar’s phones didn’t work?
Then you tried to take her down a flight of stairs. She planted herself on the stairs and you still didn’t get help.
All you had to do was get the attention of any hostess, bartender, server, runner/busboy, or any other employee … and this would have been taken care of much more efficiently and safely.
I can see your point but you have a couple things mixed up. In Nash, the bars are multiple levels. She came up to me when we were already on the roof, and the benches I mentioned were like 20 feet away. She was cold so I suggested walking her down to the first floor where if her friends still were responding, I would get a staff member, the situation just didn’t make it that far.
As for the phone, I could see it the entire time and she only stayed in the call app. She wouldn’t let me take my phone back even onto the stairs, which is why I couldn’t leave her because if she decided to move I wasn’t gonna get my phone back.
I could have gotten the bar staff involved earlier but my initial read on the situation was that it would be short. Once it became clear that her friends weren’t responding and she said it was cold is when we decided to go downstairs where after finding her a place to sit, I would have gotten bar staff involved, like you suggested.
Really shocked by some of the y-t-a’s here..
I think you did the right and moral thing.
NTA