my boyfriend and i have this dog walking client that we have been doing together for almost 7 months; we go over and walk him a few times a day and just let him run or maybe a walk around the block. our hours recently changed to have to be there at 8 am, and there’s usually no issue with that for me. my boyfriend just recently got a new job that conflicts with the times most days, and so i have taken over walking the pup full time for the two of us.
last night, i was pretty stressed and tired from work, and so my boyfriend offered to go walk the dog for me in the morning. at first i told him no, but when i woke up this morning i just could not get out of bed. i asked him if he would still go walk the dog, and he said sure. he got up, and i used the restroom first, then went back to bed.
he got up and let our dogs out while i was in the bathroom, and so i figured id just go back to our room and let him in the restroom when he was done. he comes in, and comes to our bedroom, and starts REAMING me out, claiming i could’ve helped him outside, cleaned off the car for him, started the car for him, gotten him coffee, etc. and that he wants appreciation for getting up this early to, “do what you don’t want to.”
i apologized and thanked him for what he was doing and told him that i am grateful he got up to do this ‘for me’ but it still wasn’t enough. he then spent another fourty minutes complaining to me about having to be up, even though he offered, and that i didn’t do enough to ‘help him’ in the morning. i told him if i was going to get out of bed and do all of that, i would’ve just gone and done the job myself.
AITA for asking him to get up and do it, and also not ‘appreciating’ him more?
No, you are NTA.
Your boyfriend is.
It hurts my feelings that so many women have to live like this, apologize constantly to “keep the peace” when they have done nothing wrong, and get gaslit into thinking they’re somehow the problem.
If the roles were reversed on a large scale, we’d crack en masse in about half a second.
NTA, it’s not really helping you if you’re just using the time to do things for him. And why do you say you both have the job if it’s just you doing it? Does that mean he takes half the money?
it was both of our jobs to start! i do it all starting as of last week, so it’s only recently been mine alone, he does not take half the money (thankfully) but i use it to pay mostly shared expenses
So it still benefits you both. How much gratitude has he shown?
Definitely NTA but and maybe I sound like an ass saying this your boyfriend sure sounds like a real “gem” based off this🙄 Even when we are upset about something, as grown ass adults its not THAT hard to politely communicate being upset especially to someone you claim to love and care about. My take is It sounds like he doesnt want to have to do this dog walking job anymore and if he doesnt want to maybe he should communicate that
ESH
the problem is that the two fo you don’t have clear communication and no plan for who does what in your side job.
YOU failed to pull your weight, and he complained about it. Other days, you took over. – communicate, plan. Or give up the pet sitting.
This is a wildly bad take.
YTA. how you gonna be “worn out and stressed” from walking a dog once a day
She’s worn out and stressed from working all day AND this second job of dog walking several times a day. Particularly since HE no longer pulls his weight in the shared dog walking gig.
It’s probably similar to how someone can ask a question about something that is clearly answered in the post.
He literally offered to do this. That means the whole thing. Not getting fully dressed and brushing the snow off? WTF dude.
It’s your job together and you asked him to do his JOB one time when you were not available.
NTA. Am I missing something here?
My bloke happily does things for me because he wants to help me out.
His behavior isn’t ok, not in the slightest. It’s better to be single than put up with this.