After a very stressful week, my girlfriend and I had agreed to a movie night at home. Nothing special pretty much just ordering food, munching on some snacks and watching a movie that we had both wanted to see for some time. I was in charge of the food, she was in charge of the movie. Great.
When everything was set, I sat down on the couch and turned on the movie. Right before I pressed the play button, she asked me to hold on because she wanted to set the vibe. Basically, that meant turning off the lights, lighting a candle, fluffing the pillows, and choosing the ideal song for the few minutes before the movie begins.
I didnt respond and just waited. Five minutes passed and she was still there arranging things. After that, the clock showed ten. By that time the food had gotten cold and, honestly, I was pretty exhausted and just wanted to watch the movie.
Apart from her mood, she also decided to change the blanket, apparently her first blanket didnt match the vibe. When she was away I hit play and had dinner.
When she arrived and noticed the movie running, she got mad. She told me I spoiled the evening, and that movie nights have to be deliberate, not hurried. I told her I had no intention of getting into a battle with her over that.
AITA???
YTA.
Clear communication would have been more effective. “Babe, it is getting late and I would like to start the movie in 3 minutes.”
While I understand you were frustrated, just communicate your feelings and expectations verbally instead of starting the movie without her.
YTA for not communicating with her.
From your description, it sounds like she thought she was setting everything up to be a more pleasant and enjoyable evening. You and she did not have the same expectations of what your evening should look like.
Starting the movie without her, without communicating your needs to her and compromising on a solution – leaves your action of starting the movie without her to be a punishment.
We don’t punish our partners.
You could have ate your food, but waited in the movie. You could have gotten up and helped her to set the vibe quicker. You could have communicated to her your needs in the moment, and came to a compromise.
A song to play before the movie? Never heard of this nonsense. Fluff the pillows, get the food. Sit down and press play. It’s a movie, not something that warrants this production before the production.
Next time, use your words. Express yourself
>choosing the ideal song for the few minutes before the movie begins.
I honestly do not understand where some of you find these people.
YTA for “I didn’t respond” and then pressing play without telling her. If the food is getting cold, say “honey, the food is getting cold so I’m going to start eating” and do that. If she’s taking a long time, say “I’d really like to start the movie.”
Can we add WTF as an official response to posts?
ESH
You don’t start a 10+ minute task right as you’re ready to start an activity. That’s going to piss anyone off.
You don’t start dinner/movie without the person you are eating dinner and watching the movie with. That’s going to piss anyone off.
> she asked me to hold on
and
>I didnt respond
I think your girlfriend was over the top in the timing with her level of “vibe setting” but you have to TALK TO HER.
YTA.