Reposted with more paragraph breaks as the first was auto removed for not having enough.
I was at the grocery store with my husband recently. We briefly separated as he was heading towards checkout while I was still looking around. I saw that a pasta we frequently use was on sale for like $2.
I grabbed it and took off towards check out, hoping I would catch up to my husband in time to add it to our stuff. He was at self checkout and was about to press the button to begin the actual payment portion when I reached him.
I already thought, "Damn, too late," when I saw he noticed I was there with the pasta box. He got an super annoyed look on his face, so I just turned around and put the pasta back in its aisle while he finished up.
We get back to the car and he was still noticeably irritated so I asked him what was wrong. He said it was a pet peeve of his when someone tries to add an item to a transaction as its happening.
I said I could understand being annoyed if I insisted he add it right as he was paying or that he start a new transaction just to buy the pasta, but that it’s unfair to get mad at me just approaching with something if I immediately put it back after reading the room.
He said even if he hadn’t started paying, just coming up to possibly add another item was asshole behavior. By the time we got home both of us were pissed.
We apologized by that evening for getting upset with each other, but the core of the issue didn’t change. I don’t think adding an item while still checking out is assholish so long as it’s just one item and it’s before the person you’re with hasn’t started actually paying yet. AITA?
I think youre both the assholes to yourselves and your relationship for being this petty with eachother over pasta…
NTA Your husband is being unreasonable. You shouldn’t even have to put it back.
Nta. His reaction was kind of strange, though.
NTA His reaction seems very disproportionate, especially since you didn’t persist in adding the extra item. I’m thinking there’s something else bothering him, and this is how it manifested. Talk to him once you’re both in a calm place. Good luck!
NTA. Life is short man. This is a ridiculous thing to get mad about, especially since you backed off.
Were it not self check out, I would say YTA, however, it being that he was the only one that would be “inconvenienced”, I think he was over-reacting. If he had already put in and finalized the transaction it would have been a very minor effort to ring the extra item as a new transaction. If I were you, I would have been angry at his attitude and the way he gave you “the look”. You did nothing wrong and he was being pissy for nothing.
NTA
NTA at all. If you add anything while the button “Pay” is not pushed yet – this is just saving you time for your next visit to the store or even extra visit if you realize you need it back home. I am always glad to add smth and never seen my husband annoyed when I am adding.
NTA but you were at self checkout. What stopped you from starting a new transaction for the pasta if you really wanted it?
Adding a dozen items in the express lane? Asshole behavior.
Adding one or two before initiating payment? Not a big deal.
You’re NTA.
NTA. The Self check outs at most grocery stores have impulse buy items like candy and chapstick…so that you literally add items to the transaction.
Does this happen regularly that your husband has a “pet peeve” over it? Has he had to wait in the past while you run and get something, inconveniencing him or holding up the line.
I just don’t get the irritation otherwise. Its like, literally 3 seconds to add another item.
Is there something else bugging him, and this was just the straw breaking the camels back? Cause what an odd thing to get angry about.
Wow. Your husband is a control freak.
He is so controlling that even thinking about adding an item irritates his little ‘pet peeve.’
You didn’t add the item in, and he STILL was pissed off and whined about it.
He is a cavernous Ahole, not you.
Time for some starch in his shorts.
Does he show irritation at being interrupted in general? Was this a one-off behavior? It seems a silly thing to get angry over considering it would add, what, ten seconds to his check out experience. NTA, but something is going on with him.
NTA. Your husband is being ridiculous. I go grocery shopping with my husband and we both do this. It’s not like you asked your husband to wait while you toted up rocket fuel for him to buy.
What a stupid pet peeve. And even if he hates it, that’s not how you deal with your partner.
NTA