I (19M) and my cousin (almost 13F) had a small argument. According to her, I was obligated to make her chocolate milk because she has done several things for me before.
It’s true that she, along with her mother, has made homemade burgers and other snacks for the family in the past. However, those were never made specifically for me; they were for everyone, and her mother always did most of the work.
Even so, she thought it was fair to demand that I make her chocolate milk. I was already making mine at the time, but she was also in the kitchen, everything was already there, and she knows how to make it just as well as I do (if not better).
The argument was short, but it left me wondering if I was in the wrong for thinking it was unfair for her to treat this as an obligation.
So, AITA?
UPDATE:
Thanks to the advice I received, I realized I should have offered her chocolate milk first, long before she asked/demanded it, both as a kind gesture and to avoid this kind of pointless argument. Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice, and I apologize if I was bothersome with this post!
A 13 year old is more than capable of making their own chocolate milk. NTA.
NAH She’s a 13 yr old girl who is pushing to see what she can get away with because she’s 13. You’re a 19 year old posting on reddit bc your middle schooler cousin was acting entitled.
Kids are going to be unfair. They’re kids imao. She’ll get over it.
ESH, what an insignificant hill to die on
Haha, yeah. I must be overthinking it…
While you are not in the wrong, you did not take a very easy opportunity to be kind.
You were already making chocolate milk. I’d say the polite thing would be to make it for anyone else present who wants it. Were you under strict obligation to do so, I guess not. You’re both being immature and petty but only one of you is an actual child so I’m gonna say light YTA.
YTA, you were already making one for yourself, not very difficult to make some more by adding to the one you are making. het demanding you do so because she did stuff earlier is odd, maybe rude. but it isn’t terribly difficult for you to ask other people around if they also want chocolate milk when you are making it for yourself. kinda rude not to ask imo
Why are you arguing with a 13 year old?
If she was being a br*t then nta, if she was just asking then it wouldn’t have hurt to make it for her and show some love
“You want someone to do something for you, you use manners. ‘Would you please make me a chocolate milk, too?’ was all you had to say. And if you say it next time, I probably will make it for you. But, act entitled and demanding, make it yourself.” – simple enough for an entitled 13yo to understand. And a reminder for you to be kind as well if she was being kind.
If she did anything other than politely request you make her a glass of chocolate milk then NTA.
You were already making chocolate milk and it absolutely took you more time to post this than to make a second glass. YTA
INFO: How was she demanding? Maybe she needs to learn a better way to ask.
“Cousin, you’re mad at me for not making you a chocolate milk. But I don’t like being treated like I’m a servant who obeys commands. Also, I don’t like the idea we only do things for each other because we owe each other.
“I like doing things for you because you’re part of my family and I love you. Isn’t that why you like to do things for family, too?
“Part of being family means being kind whenever we can. That includes when you want something, asking kindly. Next time, try asking me, ‘Can I please have a chocolate milk too while you’re making some?’ Not because I owe you, but because you’re asking for a kind favor. In the future, maybe I’ll ask you kindly for a favor like making me chocolate milk because you’re already making some. But I bet you anything if I said, ‘YOU have to make me chocolate milk RIGHT NOW because I SAID SO,’ you are not going to want to do it.
“If something like this happens again, I’ll try to remind you to practice asking kindly before just saying no. But I am not going to do a kind favor for you if you can’t ask me kindly in the first place. I’m your cousin, we aren’t each other’s servants.”