Early last year, I visited my sister with my then boyfriend and noticed that her dog was mostly confined to her home office, usually locked in his kennel. He was only let out once at night to pee and poop, and she would carry him into the backyard even though he’s perfectly capable of walking on his own.
When I asked why, she told me that he had bit her husband on three different occasions while her husband was petting him. The last incident was serious enough to break skin and cause quite a bit of bleeding. She’s had her dog since 2017, when he was a puppy (I was there when she adopted him), and he’s always been the sweetest little boy, so I was really surprised to hear that he’d become reactive.
It was hard to see him confined like that, so I offered to take him in under two conditions. First, that she would continue covering his expenses, since I already have a dog and taking on the cost of a second would be a lot. Second, that I would take him once I moved into a bigger place with my then boyfriend so things wouldn’t be cramped.
As of this year, neither of those conditions is true anymore. A month ago, while she was getting his paperwork ready to fly him over (we live in different countries), she mentioned a few required items but never offered to pay for them. That bothered me and made me start having second thoughts. But then around the same time, my boyfriend and I broke up, and I will be in the process of moving out, so the larger living space is no longer an option.
I explained all of this to her, but she got upset and hasn’t responded to any of my messages or calls since. We normally FaceTime almost every day, so the silent treatment is tied to this.
It may be worth mentioning that she’s expecting a child, which could be making her more eager to rehome her dog. Also, her dog has never had agression issues prior to this.
NTA. You offered a safe alternative for an animal that was clearly bring neglected. That is concern, not interference
INFO: Did you *tell* her you were bothered that she didn’t offer to pay, or ask “are you sending me money for those items, or shipping them?”
Because if you didn’t address it at the time then pulled out last minute then she was blindsided and Y probably TA
If the moving was the bigger deciding factor, why bring money up here? Shoulda just mentioned the moving part.
I didn’t tell her I was bothered. It sucked but at least one of two conditions were being met at the time so I said nothing.
NTA
Info: did she ask you to take the dog?
No I offered hence the dilemma
YTA then
Its been nearly a year of the dog remaining in the same conditions because of your stipulations on your offer.
Dog could have been rehomed by now if you hadn’t put those conditions in place.
Also, because you offered to take the dog, it seems wrong that you insisted she pay the expenses of you moving her dog to another country.
Fair. Just note that there were no plans that I knew of to rehome her dog. I also gave the conditions along with my offer.
She’s abusing her dog and that makes you TA?
NTA but that poor dog needs a better home. Maybe bring up that the two of you can work together to help the dog find a home that is more accommodating. If you both love the dog, do what is best for the dog.
Poor dog…
🤷♀️
Your sister needs to rehome the dog. She’s a cruel pet owner. Which harridan keeps their dog in a kennel or a single room for the whole day to be let out only once at night to pee and poop.
Oh. You’re NTA