So I, (23F) work in an office and in my specific team i work with a few colleagues who are in their late 40s and 50s. Some of them have children around my age. Earlier during our lunch break, one of the moms was talking about how her son had said ‘bruh’ while talking to her and she was going off about how disrespectful it was, that she wasn’t like his little friends and that she didn’t like being spoken to like that and how rude it was. A few other people agreed, saying that also they don’t let their children use slang when addressing them, that they are their parents first and foremost and that they demand respect.
Then I was asked if I ever use slang around my mother (who is in her late 50s) and I said I did. I also told them that I considered my mom to be one of my besties, and while I have deep respect for her, I also see her as someone I love to joke around and hang out with. We send each other brain-rot memes, gossip about anything that breathes, go on side quests during the most random times, etc. Even my friend group loves having her around to the point they also send her reels and tiktoks. I was told that that was extremely disrespectful, that i should be treating my mother with more authority and that clearly i wasn’t raised with enough discipline and got lectured by like five of them all at once. Now my work feels really tense and I feel like I somehow messed up the vibes here in the office somehow, all because I admit that I treat my mom like my friends? I talked to my mom about it and asked her if she felt disrespected by how I treat her and she said she doesn’t feel that way, that she finds it fun and likes being so involved in my life and friends, but this is still weighing on my mind; so I am I wrong for how i treat my mom?
You have a cool ass mom and you work with some miserable women. NTA
NTA. A lot of people that age want control and obedience from others, rather than healthy, respectful relationships. There’s no problem with using slang or sending memes if your mum isn’t offended.
Your coworkers are old biddys. They don’t get it. I’m in my 40s and I hope that my daughter still talks to my like one of her friends when she’s in her 20s. I’d be honoured.
You’re definitely NTA and your coworkers need to get on and clutch their pearls somewhere else.
They asked for YOUR opinion, they can’t get mad when you give it to them. NTA
NTA. These other people are mistaking control and formality for respect, and relaxed and casual for disrespect. Some people want to always have an authoritative relationship with their children, others just want them to be loved. You can show love and respect without formality or control.
I show my sister love by calling her Butthead in every text. She gets it. My parents get it. My mother rolls her eyes. It’s perfect.
NTA. Your coworkers sounds like miserable humans though.
NTA and your relationship with your mom sounds a lot better than your colleagues’ relationship with their children but at least now you know. Some people are authoritarian when it comes to parenting and it’s also possible that they were never that comfortable with you being a colleague of theirs either.
NTA – They sound angry that you have a closer relationship with your mom than they do with their children. It’s also none of their business.
NTA
I’m 53m. My kids are 33m and 32f. We have the type of relationship those people would absolutely describe as disrespectful. As long as everyone involved is happy then who gives a f\*\*\* what other people think.
EDIT: forgot the NTA.
NTA. They’re probably miserable because they’re not close with their own kids. A lot of people don’t get that you can’t demand your kids treat you with absolute authority and act stiff with you and also expect them to share details about their lives and want to hang out with you. I’m an adult who’s still close with my mom because she knew when to be my friend and when to be my parent.
My son calls me spawnpoint. I call him spawn.
I teach him things, and he teaches me things.
We discuss things as a family, from what we will have for dinner to who will do what household chore.
Yes, we act as friends. We respect each other. Respect is a 2 way street
These are the kinds of people who are gonna wonder why their kids never visit and rarely call. Absolutely NTA and it’s none of their business how your relationship is with your mom as long as she’s happy. What a bunch of cranky old jerks
NTA. People who think like your coworkers do will always have distant, cold relationships with their children. Holidays only, rare calls, etc. It is an old school way of thinking that leads to empty relationships with your family. Just because you are their parent, doesn’t mean you can’t be a friend too.
They’re jelly. You keep vibing with your mom. That’s a rare treasure nowadays. Nta