I’m a very busy guy and I don’t have any dramatic tendencies, one of the situations that got me this disoriented, the biggest one actually, is that we were having a casual night and I’ve decided to ask my wife about her past relationships, and even went to the point that i made her comfortable about sharing saying it’s not that important and it really was not that important, but what she told me was mind breaking,
Not to mention all the players who she was around, I’ll qoute one the reasons she broke up with a specific previous partner
"one day i was very sick and he called me late at night and asked for me to come to his crib, i told him i was very sick and couldn’t come today but he really insisted, so i went to his house and he didn’t even appreciate me for that and was very hard and painful on me although he knew i was very sick, i got really mad about it and several hours later i took my stuff and left and he didn’t even drive me back home and left me on my own, can you imagine this?,
I got back home and my sickness became worse so i decided that day that I don’t want him in my life any more"
She hugged me and cried right after telling me this, and as f*cked up as it gets i found out later that she still in touch with him and they talk on the phone very often like what she told was just off of a horror movie, i told her that i don’t want this guy near my life and she blocked him afterwards, i never came back from this, i don’t know if she was just being stupid, or she did this to me intentionally, she was alway good to me and we had a very peaceful life but am afriad I’ll never come around this and can’t keep it out of my head. And i really want to move on with my life.
Someone just tell me if he had went through something like this and saw the light ever again.
This thing sounds very dramatic just fyi.
I wish i used my imagination, but that’s literally what she said to me
I think they are saying you are being dramatic about this.
This is kind of a confusing read
Your wife has consistently been in contact with one of her ex boyfriends, including talking on the phone frequently and you had no idea?
That is a bigger issue then the exact nature of their previous relationship.
Your peaceful life clearly wasn’t all she needed, which people are rarely happy when they are only trying to be content
I found her talking to him on the phone yes, she said she didn’t know it was gonna bother me
Dude, your post is confusing, but sounds like the Crux of it is your wife is essentially cheating emotionally.
You have two choices:
1. Nip it in the bud and tell her to stop.
2. If she doesn’t, divorce her.
You opened Pandora’s Box.
Digging in the graveyard of your wife’s past relationships was only going to uncover monsters you don’t want to find.
What were you thinking?
At least you discovered she still talks to that asshole…*regularly*?? What the hell is that about??
Some women *love* a man who treats them like shit. Low self esteem, past abuse or some weird kink, I’m not really sure why that is but it sounds like your wife is one of them.
You’re still sick over this because deep down you know her actions aren’t normal. Always trust your instincts because they are usually right. That is what saved your ancestors from danger in the past and those same instincts are trying to protect you from a bad situation now.
It appears the bad boy was your wife’s first choice and she just can’t quit him no matter how bad he mistreated her. Blocking him now doesn’t do anything. She can *unblock* him at any time and resume her talks with him. You were her safe choice: the stable husband type. If the roles were reversed and she was married to him do you think she would be sneaking phone calls to you? Tell me I’m wrong.
If you don’t have kids yet with her, this might be a good time to take a step back and reexamine your marriage to decide if this is really the person you want to trust your future with. I guess being her silver medal isn’t that bad to you?
I mean the way you’re talking throughout this post sounds like you’re not the type of person who wants that kind of information about her history so this was a really weird decision.
If she blocked him immediately it’s probably a good sign.
If she didn’t tell you it might be because you said you didn’t want to know.
I dunno this was confusing lol
Do you know the reason for it affecting you? Like protective instincts, feeling like your wife became less known? Bad view of humanity? Most common comparison I can think of is soldiers who experience evil and it takes time to integrate the experience into a new worldview that makes sense.