Me and bf, 30+, live together. Bf has a good friend who lives in another city but visits from time to time, always with his girlfriend, mid-20s.
Whenever they visit, she always prances around our house wearing tiny pyjamas (and I mean *tiny* – micro shorts, tiny silk numbers etc.) or sexy babydoll lingerie. No robe on top. She wears that not to go to bed, but at a breakfast table, in the evening when we’re watching a movie. Basically, if not outside, at home she changes into them from “outside clothes” immediately. She would often turn around and flash us with her ass (thank god she’s wearing underwear). Or bend down a bit – and then hello titties (obviously no bra).
I never thought much about what any of my other girlfriends wear when visiting – but that’s because I never saw their asses hanging out or their tits dropping out of a tiny silk top.
AITA for feeling weird about it and wanting to say something (in addition to cringing every time I hear they’re visiting)? I am feeling a mixture of shame, embarrassment for her but also anger as this all seems wildly inappropriate to me, while both my bf and hers don’t even blink. I feel even more ashamed when we have other friends over at the same time, as if wanting to apologize to them for her particular home fashion style.
I don’t feel comfortable confronting her directly. Tried discussing with bf but he sees no problem with that. Perhaps he’s enjoying the free Victoria Secret show 😂
Peeps, AITA?
When at your home … dress the same. See how bf responds then. NTA
NTA. Next time she comes over, throw on your skimpiest “comfiest clothes” and start playing hostess of the most-est to her boyfriend… (She and your partner may have a sudden change of opinion when the tables turn.)
Easy solution, lower the heating next time she visits D:
Then her nipples would poke through the mini-top 🫠
NTA – it would make me feel weird as well.
If she did it in her own home – her choice.
But she has no right to force her exhibitionistic tendencies on you.
I’m having a hard time seeing an other motivation than liking the attention and stares.
I also have a feeling she’s overselling it, as if compensating for something (lack of her bf’s attention? there’s no pda between them ever)
One way to put words to it would be to say “Hey, I feel like i’m un-consensually being involved in your kink and that makes me uncomfortable. Please keep your bedroom attire and foreplay in the bedroom” then thrust a bathrobe at her and walk away.
Are they in cahoots on trying to start a party that includes pineapple signs? This seems off that no one but you considers it weird and they are comfortable with it.
Ugh, that is just so cringy and pick me. I would have so much secondhand embarrassment if it happened with other people over. Depending on the time of year, can you either crank up the air conditioning or turn the heat way down? Make the house COLD.
I would sit your boyfriend down for another talk. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t see a problem with it, he lives with you and his guests are making you uncomfortable in your own home. Tell him this is causing you stress and anxiety and making it so you don’t want his friend to visit. It makes you deeply uncomfortable, and it’s inappropriate to do as a guest. Either she agrees to wear something it is appropriate to walk down a sunny street in when in the public areas of the house or no more visits. Or you could buy a bathrobe and he can tell her she can wear it over her PJ’s when in the public rooms of the house. NTA.
This is reassuring 💕
Funny thing, I thought a seasonal change would mean a wardrobe change. Nope. Same skimpy sets all year round 😬
Lol if this was me I’d be like “ooo, girl just saw your vulva when you bent over, do I owe you money or something now?”
💀💀💀
I spit my water laughing. Brilliant!
Unfortunately, I can be so slow in the moment. Frankly stunned too 😂 These comebacks come to my mind a week later, in a shower, when she’s long gone.
Put plastic down on all your furniture so her ass cheeks stick to it. If she asks, tell her it’s a hygiene thing to keep your furniture clean when they visit. You don’t want other people’s genitals on your stuff.
Definitely invite more people over when they visit. Have a cocktail party. Lower the temps when people come, cuz you know, it gets hot in there with so many people! Also serve really cold drinks.
Also, dress really classy when she’s there. Show how beautiful you can be without looking like a stripper in your own home. But definitely put the plastic down on the furniture. Heh.
There’s no way she doesn’t know that your bf is looking. She likes it. You don’t and that’s ok. Do you have her phone number? I’d text her,
“Hey Girl, boyfriend and I are really looking forward to your visit. But I do have one thing that I need to talk to you about before you get here – you are lovely with a body that you have every right to be proud of, but what you wear around my home is beyond my comfort level. This is in no way a judgment on you or a reflection of how I see you; this is just about my comfort level in my home. I’m not asking for you to cover up from head to toe but please do not wear lingerie or micro short/sexy PJs while you are here. I love your confidence and, again, you look great but I need for those outfits to stay in the guest room please. I will also be having some friends pop by the house and am thinking of their comfort level as well, since they hardly know you. Thank you so much for understanding.”
If anyone gets mad/gives you crap/calls you insecure/jealous . . . don’t engage in it. Simply say that you have a boundary that you need respected and that’s it. If they want to think you’re insecure/jealous – so what? Let them think that if that makes them feel better, as long as she is respectful. And if they don’t want to stay with you “because now it’s weird” or anything, that’s fine. They can stay somewhere else and you will meet up with them whenever. And if your bf gets mad – don’t argue. Tell him he can have his free show but you’re leaving. And then let him choose. NTA