>Okay so this is a throw away account and im not a common reddit poster so if there is mistakes thats why, but honestly i need to know im not insane here.
I (22) female and my partner have a good relationship and he is my entire world, i have had no many bad situations in my life that really fucked me up between family which he helped me gain the courage to go no contact after they have been horrible to me my entire life and i have everything i could ever want.
I get along well with all his family…but my sister in law is difficult at times to say the least..shes very opinionated and harsh in it while also not very well informed on what shes raving about that ranges on the simpliest to the most sensitive topics.
I dont mind sharing opinions im rather blunt by nature i dont do it harshly and im not rude and more often then not i bite my tongue..but three days ago me and my husband while at my mother in laws for sunday dinner announced we are pregnant with our first baby..no one new until i was 3 months to be safe since i have PCOS it has been 2 years of us trying and a miscarriage.
Everyone was delighted all hugging me and congratulating and that was fine until sis in law lets call her ella, made some back handed comment about "the perfect picket fence family" and my husband asked her why she had an attitude and she basically thinks my husband is trying to turn me into a trophy wife..i dont work by choice my husband has a good job and i sleep peacefully at night not having to worry and i do handle a majority of our household.
Yes traditional but its all i ever wanted for my life..i never wanted to be rich or travel the world or whatever..it may sound sad but all i ever wanted was a happy home and to grow old and content with a family of my own knowing id never let my kids ever know what i felt like as a child and my husband gave me it all and more then i feel like dont even deserve it even now.
The room fell silent and i replied very annoyed very quickly not for myself but her tone was of pure disgust and it broke my nerves a little..so i replied "i beg your f\*\*king pardon" and she smiled like she knew all as per usual and said "am i wrong".
My husband likes to avoid drama but even he didnt stop me seeing me getting annoyed i replied "look im sure in your mind this is something got to do with you but ill make it clear it isnt and seeing as you havent made a single relationship work in your entire life you should learn to bite your tongue when you barely figure out how to not drive your partners away and learn some respect the fact we are happy"
I felt i was valid and my husband with no hesitation backed me up when my sis in law clearly got stung by my words before replying "your brain washed hes older then you and convinced you this was normal while you wait at home like a dog for him".
We left after sharp words and my husband is fuming..his mother wants MEEE to apologise because ellas feelings were hurt.. did i go too far?? AITA??
Info – what age did you meet? Is your name on the mortgage ?
Look OP, reddit is a non conservative crowd and your life is very conservative. Waiting on husband hand and foot while you are a SAHW is a very different ball game to running a household on 1 income , while raising children completely solo, while also waiting on husband hand and foot.
Everything can be true here – that SIL is a jealous fool , wanting to dampen your happiness and you are making a mistake building a life you will one day come to resent.
ESH – you for throwing “you’ve never made a relationship work” at a 19 year old ( she is doing way more normal 19 year old stuff than you clearly were, marrying and trying for babies at 20) , and her for not keeping her harsh (but still possibly true) opinions to herself.
Edit to add — All ill say is – in this economy , I hope your husband is a high earner and that in spite of your conservative dynamic , he is more than a 1950s dad, for your own sake.
Feels fake and reddit bait, classic large relationship age gap, trying for “2 years” putting you at 20, family member overstepping. Somehow a 19 yr old has enough sway to tarnish opinions and not be treated as they are essentially still a child with essentially no relationship experience.
Info: when did you two start dating? If you’ve been trying for a baby for two years, and you are just 22 now, it sounds like you were very young. Even if you started dating when you were 18, he would have been old enough to be out of college. That is a huge difference in life experience.
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Yikes. And how old were you when your 28 year old husband started dating you? Yikes. All I got to say. Maybe in 10 years you’ll be thankful SIL was the only one who said anything.
SIL is probably saying what everyone else says behind OPs back
She’s the AH but she isn’t wrong.
For fucks sake, use some punctuation. Couldn’t even read that.
NTA. My SIL is also currently mad at me that I want to be at home taking care of the house and raising my children. It’s “selfish and lazy” to “put it all” on her brother. We are all far older than 19. My husband told her it’s not her family and she didn’t get a say so now we haven’t talked since before Christmas. Sometimes that’s the best way to handle it
ESH. Her for her comment and you because having no job unless you have a very good reason to is just a very bad idea since he has full control over your life that way.
You’ve been trying for a baby since you were 20 and he was 26? So how old were you when you met?
The SIL presented her opinion in likely the worst way, in the worst setting, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s wrong. You came from an abusive household and jumped immediately into this?
Look, I’m a SAH-husband because of a disability. I have a very full life, and I’m genuinely happy taking care of the household, cooking, etc. I say that so you know I’m not trashing the lifestyle itself, but from what you’ve said, this sounds more like you’re isolated, being locked in with a baby, and the only person around still brave enough to point this out to you is your SIL.
YTA for your comment to her, and you do owe her an apology for that. She’s 19, not 50. Not being able to “make a relationship work” at 19? What would you know about it? You jumped from an abusive situation straight into the arms of a man that now has you isolated from any form of a support system. Maybe, just maybe, your SIL hasn’t done the same because she wants something better?
Um nope… your done here! Your life your goals … not hers … oh no her feelings are hurt… it’s super hard being held accountable for your words….. tbh she sounds super spoilt. Don’t put the extra stress on your self and protect your peace.