I (30f) just gave birth 2 weeks ago. Had an emergency c section in our parents home town. While visiting for Christmas. So I’m stuck with a lot of family wanting to come see the baby.
Everyone has been really respectful thus far and I’ve been really blessed with people bringing more diapers and food (even tho we are with my parents). And a lot of them don’t stay long because, baby just sleeps and I also have PPD so all of them have been in and out. Wishing us well looking at baby and going. The longest visitor we had was 20 min and it was my aunt from out of town. We haven’t turned away anyone because we live 4 hours away and this is a real treat for the family here who thought they won’t be able to see baby this soon.
I’m saying all this because I we’ve allowed all my husband’s family to come see baby (ps not touch or hold or anything they just stare at him). And we’ve allowed a neighbor that babysat me when I was baby to stare at our baby.
But this cousin (40f). She’s the child of my mother’s deceased older sister. Whom I loved so much. But y’all I dislike her so much. She’s one of those people that overstayes her welcome. She has been caught steeling from family members. No one talks to her anymore except my mom who feels some kind of family obligation. She’s a drunkard who doesn’t want to seek help. Who walked out of rehab. She stole 40k from her own father.
She has also visited our grandmother in the hospital, covered in literal shit(because she tried to fix her toilet plumbing and… Heaven knows what happened but the pipe burst and she was covered in it) she was banned from the hospital after the second time she visited because she video called her sister in Australia (who I’m very close too) and she accidentally showed the other patient who was busy getting dressed. She literally doesn’t care about anything and she’s one of those people that ignores what you want.
I really don’t want her anywhere near me nevermind my baby. I feel very guilty about this because her sister gave me a very generous monetary baby shower gift. – mind you this cousin didn’t show up because she had a hangover and then photo shopped herself in my pictures to show her sister she was actually there. AFTER we video called the sister to feel apart of the shower.
My mother will absolutely lose her shit if I say no. Because she lost her shit when I didn’t want to invite her to the baby shower.
I feel like I WBTA because I’ve let everyone else look at baby and not her but I feel like I won’t because I don’t even see her as family anymore.
Let your mom lose her shit.
Let your cousin too.
Their feelings arent your responsibility.
Protect your peace and don’t let this woman visit.
NTA. Just say you’re not able to welcome visitors at the moment. You’re absolutely within your rights to limit visitors at this time.
Nobody ever died from not looking at a newborn child immediately.
you just had a baby and you said you are dealing with PPD. NTA, I wouldn’t want to deal with someone who I didn’t like 2 weeks postpartum.
if you don’t want her there, then firmly say no. If your mom throws a hissy fit, be prepared you might want to leave and go back home if you feel up to making the drive or retreating to your room and staying there rest of the time or until she cools off.
Your baby, your rules. You get to decide who is in their life at this age.
> I (30f) just gave birth 2 weeks ago.
There is like 4 things that could make you an asshole. You have asshole immunity for like 3 months
I’m sure you have good sound reasons, and if not, again you have asshole immunity for 3 months.
NTA. By rule. Get some sleep. You are correct. You have nothing to be guilty about.