Not major drama but something I wanted to get an external view on.
I have a friend who makes significanly less than me. I frequenty (once or twice a month) take them out to eat, or for an activity, which I always pay for (they have offered but I said I was happy to treat them).
We did something recently where they booked a space for me. It was a small amount of money ($15), definitely much much less than I treat them, regularly. But they asked me to pay them back.
I am not upset, just a bit surprised I guess. They do have the right to ask for it back and I will do that, but I never in a millon years would have asked for this if the roles were reversed. I don’t need them to pay me back for the stuff I treat them for, which is probably 100x what they are asking back. So I guess it just caught me off guard they even asked. AITA?
YTA – you just said that they make “significantly less” than you – so while to you, 15.00 might not be a big deal, to them that might be gas in their tank for a week or something.
NTA for being surprised. YWBTA if you made a big deal about it.
Gifts and treats are your choice. It doesn’t mean they owe you.
If you know they make significantly less than you, you should understand why they asked for it back.
NTA for being surprised, but you would be T A if you let this one time change the friendship. It sounds like you are genuinely a good friend. If you are happy to treat your friend, continue doing so, but when they offer to pay – let them, at least sometimes.
Id scale back paying for things. If its not a 2 way street then im not doing it. Ill go above and beyond for people thatll do it for me. The only person ill pay for is my boyfriend. No one else thats an adult. My kids dont count, as they dont have jobs. Lol 😅🤣
Being surprised that your friend who makes significantly less money than you asks to pay them back doesn’t necessarily make you an ahole but it does speak to a lack of awareness. Read the room so to speak. They aren’t in a position financially to just treat you because you’re able to do so with them.
NAH. I totally get why you feel this way but your friend can decide if they want to pay for you or not. However, you also can do it next time. It would even be logical for you to stop paying for them since they don’t reciprocate.
Why are people saying OP the AH?
OP specifically states that said friend HAS OFFERED to pay before, OP has just declined. So why would OP even consider that said friend would ask for reimbursement when this time the friend covered the fee.
NTA imo
NTA for noticing, but YATAH if you don’t realize they can’t afford to treat you.
You’ve already said they make significantly less than you so why are you surprised at the request.
Your friend is not the one writing a story for reddit sympathy so to take the effort and write something for such an alleged menial amount means it does annoy you.
You also said when you go out they do offer to pay but you decline.. you are happy to pay for them yet here you are… on reddit talking about $15.00
Stop being a whinging asshole, give back the money and leave it.
You should cut your friendship with this person, I would hate to have a friend like you
To them, you seem wealthy. $15 to you is nothing. For them, it may take an hour or two at work five that much money. Pay them back and let them keep their dignity.
They make “significantly less” than you, so it’s probably a safe bet that $15 is a “big deal” to them.
Regardless, your covering them shouldn’t lead you to expect them to cover you.
NTA – but only because you haven’t done anything negative yet.
Your only next step should be to repay them ASAP *without comment*.
$15 is not a lot when you have a lot. It’s a significant sum when you’re struggling.
YWBTA if you continue to be “surprised“. You’ve already know how little money they have and they likely feel stupid about asking for the $15. You have to either decide if you want to be in this relationship and do fun things with them that they can’t afford so you cover it, or find a way of spending time together that doesn’t involve money.