I am a 24 man about to enter 25 in a few months.
I will keep it short. My father and I never saw eye to eye. My old man never respected what I had to say. It’s always a mistake to speak my mind to him.
One of those things was asking money for my needs. I used to ask him for money for my needs like asking for my medical needs or educational needs. He always did what he believed that I needed not what I believed that I needed.
At some point, I decided that all my requests can go to hell so I started to work and make money. My parents including my father were pleased with this life improvement.
Yesterday, my father told me that I didn’t need those courses about language and mathematics that were to my liking. I get upset then told him that I didn’t care about what he thought that I needed. We started to get into a heated argument.
The argument got more heated and heated then I told him to piss off and other words that someone shouldn’t say to their father that I rather not mention here.
Did I take it too far?
You are NTA – you’re a grown man and I think it’s healthy and freeing that you stood up to him. Whatever he says afterwards is noise. Enjoy what you want to do and take the courses you love!
Need way more info
Do you live in his house
What’s your major
Are those mathematics and English courses required
Who is paying for school
Do you still use his money ever
When did you stop using his money
Does he still pay any of your bills
Etc
ESH. I’ll try and give your father the benefit of the doubt that he thinks he’s being helpful trying to guide your coursework, but if he’s not funding it, he doesn’t get a say. He’s overstepping in a major way. If he is paying for it, then you have to realize he’s entitled to pull that funding if you’re not following his wishes.
You could have handled that a lot better though. If anything, you’ve shown him you’re not especially mature emotionally or good at managing your anger. You need to find a respectful way for you two to communicate.
>You could have handled that a lot better though. If anything, you’ve shown him you’re not especially mature emotionally or good at managing your anger. You need to find a respectful way for you two to communicate.
That’s a fair point. I may have gone overboard. It’s just that I find it hard to communicate with him at all.
I had to check this wasn’t a satire post, and so this is going to get harsh.
The way this is written, it sounds like the big “fine, I’ll pay for my own stuff” shift is still a chip on the shoulder, maybe it wasn’t that long ago?
Your father prioritised paying for what was needed, not what you wanted. That’s pretty normal parent stuff, unless they have money to burn and little sense.
Are you still living at home? Maybe your parents just can’t see where you plan on going with these courses that are “to your liking”, what jobs you hope to take in the future with that knowledge.
Or do you want a reddit medal for paying for your own needs, mr almost-25?
NTA – you are free to spend your own money on things you need or desire. As long as your spending has no impact on anybody but yourself, it is your business and yours alone.
nta you sound like 13 not 24. your father sounds like 14 not 54. if you feel you can’t make your point in a conversation, walk away. shouting matches should not happen. be well
You need to move out so fast man
Soft NTA
Do you live at home?
If so, his house his rules.
Time to move out
How does mum feel about this?
If you don’t live there, time to go low contact!
House rules are irrelevant when it comes to what OP wants to study
While it sounds like you might have gone a bit overboard with the language, NTA for the overall sentiment. Your dad thinks he can tell you what you should or shouldn’t spend your money on, when you are 25 years old? Forget about that attitude, how ridiculous. You sound like you’re a thoughtful and focused person, and I think it’s admirable that you are studying things that enrich your life. Learning something new that you’re interested in is not a waste. In fact, it makes you a wise person who is forging the tools for a good life. Be proud of your curiosity and drive, and try to remember that your father’s opinion doesn’t have to matter to you.
Need more input!
What is your current living situation? Do you live under your father’s roof? Does he pay for your food? Who does your cooking, cleaning and laundry? Does he pay for your current classes?
At 24, you just decided to get a job? Are you in college?
Without knowing anything about your current situation, it’s pretty well impossible to determine just who is the asshole here.
Q: Who is paying for those classes?