My daughter (28) wedding is tomorrow. The problem is that my wife’s dad is in the hospital. He has always been frail since he was moved into a home and it took a turn for the worse and now he is in the hospital. They don’t think he will make. My wife sister say it looks bad and she also isn’t coming up for the wedding anymore.
The original plan was for him to fly up for the wedding today ( with the help of my wife’s sister), but he was hospitalized yesterdays and he is just getting worse. My wife has been distraught and she made the decision to go fly down ( she is leaving tonight)
It was tough decision because she will miss the wedding. I told her I will FaceTime her in for the ceremony and anything else but to go be with her dad before he dies. I also now she would be miserable if she was at the wedding to begin with. ( I doubt she would be able to put on a happy face and pretend everything was okay).
We called our daughter to explain and she did not take it well. She called her mom a lot of names. My wife has been crying since. She started to span both our phones. I got into another argument with her and I told her she is being self centered and cruel about mom not being able to make it. That her father is dying and all you care about is your big day. I didn’t raise her to not have any empathy.
She told me that wasn’t fair and I told her it was. I told her to apologize to her mother.
She told me I shouldn’t come to the wedding if mom isn’t there.
My wife is very distraught and I am suppose to drive her to the airport in a few hours.
Are we in the wrong… my daughter 100% thinks we are in the wrong. My wife is distraught.
edit: I don’t get why some of you are acting like she is flying out get lunch. he is dying, she wants to see him one last time before he is dead
multiple asked- we have four kids in total, yes she is her grandfather on my wife’s side. my wife’s mom already died 7 years ago
NTA
This is a difficult situation all around.
I recommend you go to your daughter’s wedding. Your wife has her sister to comfort her if their Dad passes during the wedding day. You can join your wife after the wedding.
If your daughter turns you away from her wedding, or chooses to not have you give her away, that is her choice. But, as a parent, it’s important that you show up.
I recommend mom do whatever she wants to do
If she want to see her dad one last item before he is dead then do that
If she wants to go to wedding then do that
This is mom’s decision
People need to stop trying to guilt her for wanting to see her dad alive one last time
I would personally would want my parent to say goodbye to their parent and wouldn’t give a flying fuck if they missed my wedding because their parent died
I agree. That’s why I said NTA. The daughter is an asshole for calling her mother names. It’s understandable that everyone is stressed out, but that’s no reason to be nasty.
I do think the OP should go to the wedding, even if his daughter is currently saying he isn’t invited, because his daughter could literally change her mind right before the wedding. If he chooses not to attend, his daughter will remember it as being abandoned. If he attends and she asks him to leave, then it was his daughter’s choice.
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