I used to work at Starbucks, and about a year in, I got a new coworker, "Bailey."
Bailey was \*always\* having a bad day, and constantly complaining. Most of the time it was over tiny things, but there was always something wrong, and her attitude was chronically miserable.
One night when she was still new, she was working the drive thru window, distributing samples of instant coffee. Bailey felt the samples tasted bad and started to add creamer to the sample cups. She then handed these out \*without telling the customers there was dairy in the sample.\*
I was alarmed, because this is health hazard, and against policy for safety reasons, so I mentioned to her that she wasn’t supposed to alter the samples, but if she did, she needed to let customers know what it is she’s giving them to drink. She got testy with me and blew me off.
Normally, I would let the chips fall, but I know some people can have bad allergic reactions to dairy or sugar, so when Bailey refused to listen, I went to the supervisor. He stopped it, saying exactly what I had said, and we moved on.
Later that evening, she blew up and yelled at me to never talk to her again about anything that isn’t work. I was shocked, but I bit my tongue and walked away, as I’m not into drama.
After that, Bailey started self-destruct. She slacked on the job and then played the victim when she got in trouble. She picked fights with other baristas, and talked shit about us to the customers. Eventually she started to bully others and even fabricate complaints about whichever barista was on her shit list at the time. This all escalated into a screaming match with our manager in the middle of the café. Of course, she was fired.
In the weeks after she was let go, she crashed her car (her fault), blew up her relationship, and got hired and fired from two jobs in two months.
We were all shocked to see her spiral this badly, even though it did sort of feel like a self-fulfilling prophecy, since she was such a miserable negative person all the time. But the timing definitely indicates I was the final straw to her self-restraint, and I wonder sometimes if I made the wrong decision by saying anything. AITA?
You were just doing your job and looking out for customers safety. Her spiral was on her, not you.
Nope, NTA. You did what you were supposed to do. You told her in what seems reasonable terms why she was not supposed to do that and when she refused to hear good advice, you did what a sane person would do.
I’m sorry to be crude but that shit was aiming for that fan way before your exchange. It was a matter of time before something triggered her down that path. On top of that it doesn’t sound like she was receptive to be helped.
Get over yourself. The downfall of Bailey was completely their own fault. You are in no way responsible for anything that happened.
OP thinks about Bailey way too much haha
NTA, her spiral was not your doing.
What makes you think that you gave her the push? She could have been digging the hole without your actions. I don’t think you were in the wrong, but I don’t think that getting corrected for distributing dairy one time is enough to tank her life. It sounds like she’s going through a lot more than you can really influence from the respectful distance she’s asked you to stay at. All you can do is focus on keeping the workplace safe and respectful.
NTA. You didn’t cause her spiral, you stopped someone from handing surprise dairy to strangers which is basic safety. Her blowing up her job and life after that is on her, not you. You were a coworker, not her emotional support manager.
NTA. As someone who is lactose intolerant, thank you. I don’t drink coffee, but I couldn’t imagine someone with digestive issues getting what they THINK is plain black coffee and ending up on the toilet for hours after (or worse if they are severely allergic).
NTA. All of those things were the result of her own actions and/or possibly of some personal/mental health issues that have nothing to do with you. You objectively did the right thing. It sounds like if that incident hadn’t set her off, something else would have soon enough.
NTA. You didn’t push her into anything.
Regardless of what was the final straw for her, she was already on that path.
You were 100% correct to address the dairy in the sample issue because that had the potential to be a major issue, and you followed the correct process.
NTA
NTA but I do wonder why you would want to take credit for this woman’s breakdown? She was clearly going through some shit and it feels a bit strange that you want to think you started it or something.
It sounds more like you’re trying to make your role in a disaster of a human being’s story much more prominent than it ever was. You’re not an asshole but you’re also a complete nonfactor. This person would have spiraled out regardless of your existence.
YTA for writing this corny post making someone else’s life about you.