Hi, I needed a judgement on this because my son is angry at me for this and my husband also thinks I’m in the wrong.
We have two kids, our daughter is 17, and our son is 10. My husband’s parents have both passed away. He has a brother and a sister. His sister and I have never been on good terms, since we got married, and even prior to that. We’re cordial when we meet on family gatherings. I used to try to be on good terms back in the day but now I kind of keep my distance. My husband also understands she’s difficult and doesn’t push it.
Yesterday my husband and son had gone to visit her on the way back from somewhere. While there my SIL had spoken to my son about how his cousins (my husband’s brother’s two sons who are similar in age to both my son and her son) had come for a sleepover recently and how much fun they had, and really sold the idea to him. They’re having another sleepover next week.
When they came back my son asked me if he could go. I really don’t like the idea of him staying there without me or my husband present. When my daughter was young she had once asked me if I was her stepmom. Turns out my sister in law had (as a joke) told her I was when I wasn’t present. This was years ago but still.
I told my son he can’t go but he’s angry with me for not allowing it, said his three cousins are goinh to be having so much fun without him. My husband isn’t too pushy but he’s saying I should let him go, that I should keep my feelings for his sister aside, this is about my son having fun with his cousins. I’m just beinh protective of my son. AITA?
you’re punishing your son for a joke your sil made to your daughter years ago. that’s like banning him from recess because the teacher was mean to you in 2015.
Are you prepared to tell him why he can’t? Do you really want to drag a ten year old into whatever is going on between you and your SIL? Isolate him from his cousins?
YTA. Let the boy have fun with his cousins.
Mild YTA because you’re letting your feelings about your SIL prevent your son from maintaining some valuable familial relationships. Is your SIL abusive? A bad mother? If not, it’s probably fine for him to go there for one night that has been planned well in advance, as the sleepover is.
For your son’s sake I would suck it up and just hope he has a good time.
YTA
YTA- don’t let your personal problems get in the way of your kids relationships, unless there’s serious risk of emotional/physical danger. They will blame you later, not her
YTA. You’re pushing the beef you have with your SIL on your son. Let him have fun..
YTA. I don’t think it’s fair that your son and his cousins can’t get together because you are still pissed after a joke from years ago. That’s half of your son’s life. Drop the rope. C’mon now.
How about hosting a sleepover at your house?
YTA. Why not let him go, exactly? Because she told your daughter a joke in bad taste years ago, or because you just don’t like her?
The boy should be allowed to spend time with his family, and the whole point of sleepovers is to get away from your parents for a hot minute, eat crap food, and stay up too late watching TV or playing video games.
YTA
If that’s the only issue you’ve had with how she’s interacted with your children, then you’re overreacting.
It would be one thing if you had an issue with sleepovers in general or if you had a safety concern, but that’s not the issue here.
You don’t like your SIL so you’re taking it out on your som by interfering in his having a relationship with his cousins.
YTA, let him bond with his cousins. Just because you have issues with the SIL doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hinder a relationship with his cousins. Stop being so dramatic.
Yta. I get where you’re coming from. But you need to allow your son space to develop his own relationships with his cousins. If sil wants to start drama, there’ll be witnesses. You need to separate whatever bs is going on with sil from your kids having any kind of relationship with their cousins. Just make sure your son knows that if aunty does anything to make him uncomfortable, he can call you and you’ll get him no questions asked.
You sound exhausting. This isn’t about you and SIL. Its about boy & his cousins. Stop being selfish.