WIBTA
First of I am Dyslexic and find writting stuff like this hard. I apologise for mistakes in grammar and spelling, please focas on the main story.
So to start with I am Trans, MTF and with this I want to change my name. This is due to the formationed and that I would have changed it to my current Gender neutral nickname. The reason for not just changing to that name is due to it being given to me by a former friend who was found to like kids a bit to much. So want to remove that memory from my name. That will also be important later.
So I have been thinking of many names to chane it to. But wanted something that jumped out at me when I heard it. I was on the phone to my partner one day and she said the name Lexi to me. That just lit my idea light and was like yes that just is right. So I went on a dive to see what names it comes from. Alex and Alexis and a couple of others similar too. So i have started using Alexis as my name to try it out.
So time has gone by and some people are calling me by my new name, and starting to feel good with it. My partner knows what it is, but doesn’t use it. So the other day I finally asked them "why? So they told me an Ex with the Name Lexi, dumped them for a trans person. And from that, she has bad memories about it. Obviously from what i said earlier, having bad memories with a name is understandable. I have pointed out that Alexis is not limited, as Al, Alex, Lexi are the three main nicknames so suggested to use the other two. I don’t mind.
So WIBTA for wanting to change my name to this new name, even if I know she might hate me for it?
YWNBTA, names are personal choices. You could have this name for the rest of your life, do what feels right.
She really should have told you sooner, the moment you made the decision to use that name.
YWNBTA, but you also need to decide whether it is worth the risk of harming your relationship for.
Alexis, I like **Alex, and Allie/Ali** better. “Sexy Lexi” is a no for me. Strange she mentioned the name Lexi to begin with if she hated it.
It sounds like she accidentally said it, which happens with exes, not that she offered it as a possible new name for OP
NAH. Your name is your name. You should pick what you like. But…. it is also very normal for her to feel uncomfortable and I don’t that she’ll just be able to change that. Especially when she knows you’re using it because of her which is probably because of this other person. Y’all just need to talk it out.
Why did she mention the name Lexi if she has issues with it?
You do not live your life in the shadow of someone else’s bs. You don’t diminish yourself to please anyone!
I’ll be honest with you – your name will be yours throughout your life. This relationship? Only a mere blip in your lifetime. You don’t have a name problem, you have a partner problem.
A real and true partner would be calling you by your name daily and often to reinforce their love for you and your chosen name. A real partner would support you.
I’ve dated people with the same name of someone who did me dirty. Some people have more than one spouse of the same name in their lifetime.
Put yourself first and dump anyone who isn’t on the Alexis/Lexi train. NTA.
NTA whatever you do. Your name is for you alone. But you seem to have a strong sense of association. You ditched your first nickname because of who it reminded you of. Will this name be the same? Your partner also has some associations. So you can be empathetic to their thoughts as well.
Maybe keep looking. Find something that you got from you alone. Not another person’s ideas. That way there is zero association in your mind with any other person but you. Good luck.