So this sounds stupid because it started over a game, but it turned into something bigger and honestly caught me off guard. Me, best friend (18male), and my younger brother (around 12-14) were playing Naruto Shippuden together. Trash talk is normal in our group, it’s how we’ve always joked around. Last week my friend was beating my brother badly and trash talking him, and I sided with my best friend even though it was my own brother. I joked about my brother being bad at the game, and while he got annoyed that day, he was completely over it the next day.
This week we played again and the roles were reversed. My brother was winning and started trash talking my friend, and I sided with my brother the same way I had sided with my friend before. To me it was just keeping the same energy and having fun. After that, my friend called me and said he didn’t enjoy playing at all, that he wasted hours of his time, and that he doesn’t want to play with us anymore. He said he’s not mad at my brother, he’s mad at me for siding with him, and he hung up in the middle of the conversation.
What really confuses me is that it was fine when I backed him against my own brother, but suddenly it’s not fine when I back my own younger brother. I didn’t insult him personally, the trash talk was mutual like it always is, and this is just how I joke and have fun with friends. Now I’m honestly wondering if I’m toxic without realizing it, or if this is being blown way out of proportion because of ego or sensitivity. Am I the problem here?
NTA, sounds like your best friend is a sore loser and more like your brother’s age, not 18. Give him some time, if this is all it takes for him to call quits on your friendship, you saved yourself some real hurt later on.
He’s saying that am the one to blame cuz I let my brother trash talk him, and if I don’t even accept that then it’s over.
I don’t think it’s worth saving this particular relationship at this time. “You’re an adult who is fine insulting children but is offended when they respond in kind. Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.”
ESH except brother. Your brother felt bad too and you are really normalizing to him that “people can be assholes to weaker ones”.
But, someone who mistreated 12 years old … like common. Half point for setting boundaries when it happens to you … minus 15 for doing it to kid.
Brother is literal kid. He is learning from you all.
Ty for your judgmental response I think that I also have to reflect this on my own self rather than blaming him. And it’s really that we choose to be enjoying by mocking the loser and cheering the winner from the environment that we really grew in I think it’s wrong to be involving my brother in even playing with us.
NTA Tell your friend that if he isn’t cool with trash talk anymore that’s valid and starting now there will be no more trash talk. He shouldn’t pretend that he never trash talked anybody tho, and you didn’t do anything wrong matching his vibe, but I think it’s cool to change your mind on stuff like that being ok especially as you age.
NTA
If you dish it our you better be ready to take it, lol. He can’t be trash talking others and than be dramatic when the tide is turning on him. Unfortunately a lot of people are like this though. Don’t back down. Let it blow over if possible, and don’t entertain him in the future if he has those double standards just because his ego can’t take what he likes to do to others. (Someone not enjoying this kind if talk should be respected, but they can’t have it both ways. If they don’t want it than they shouldn’t do it yo others).
Well said👍🏽👍🏽
NTA especially if the trash talk is normal. The friend sounds like he is trying to be the victim.
Yh I know looking back at it he never takes accountability
ESH except your brother. No one should gang up on anyone in this situation.
NTA. And your friend is being lame. But it sounds like giving up the trash talk might be a step towards simplifying your life. It sounds like it might actually be cutting deeper than you realize.