My GF of two years will turn 30 this year and she is a super bts fan,
like crazy – she has all the merch etc. But she never went to a concert. Now they come to Europe and she told me, that she is so sad, because she cannot afford the tickets. So I checked my savings and instead of buying me a bike I told her: here u have 500 euros, try to get the best ticket possible, I want u to see them at least once in ur life. (As a birthday gift). We planned to go to Paris, spend there the weekend and she can enjoy the concert. I already booked the hotel etc. But to make sure that she really will see them, we made the plan, that she also tries to get tickets for Munich, just in case. We can sell them if we get the ones or the one for Paris. So today we tried the best to get her the tickets: we got two for Munich and one really good in Paris. I was so happy for her. But now she told me that she will keep the Munich tickets and go there with a friend, she will find a way to get the money. And now I’m feeling sad and weird because I wanted to give her a once in a lifetime experience. Now it’s just a nice addition. She said that I’m wrong and that I can not just understand it because I’m a normie, and that I should ask a bts fan. A bts fan would tell me, that every concert is super special and I’m just dramatic. I don’t know what to think.
So here I am
Edit: so the plan is that we are still going together to Paris, but she will go there alone to the concert because I paid the VIP ticket. But she will go one month before to Munich with a friend, but they plan to give me the money back because she got only cheap tickets there in the reservation menu and apparently she can afford them. I feel only weird because I thought I give here the chance for something special, now we go to Paris even though she already saw them. I would have not bought her this ticket if I had knew, that she intended to keep the tickets for Munich and go twice. Because I thought she cannot afford this. And to be honest now I don’t want her to go to Munich but I don’t want to be an asshole
Edit2: thanks for all your comments. I’m really grateful, even though I maybe didn’t reply to everyone!
Not dramatic, it’s okay to feel this way since you guys made plans and just out of the blue she said she’s going with her friend? That’s really suspicious 😭
BTS fandom are weirdos and call people outside of the fandom normies – that should tell you everything you need to know. BUT….you’ll continue learning that your 30 year old girlfriend is unable to support her habit in life. NTA
INFO: so you’re paying for the vacation and *three* BTS tickets, but you’re not invited to *either* event?
NTA. Your girlfriend is being selfish. She wants to see them twice, which makes sense if she is a huge fan. But she’s showing you that her fandom is more important than your feelings.
>But now she told me that she will keep the Munich tickets and go there with a friend
>She said that I’m wrong and that I can not just understand it because I’m a normie
>and I’m just dramatic
Sell all the tickets. No present for you!
Seriously though, sell them. You gave up your bike so the two of you could have a moment, and she ruined it by insulting you.
NTA
INFO: Wait, so you paid for the trip but you’re not going? She didn’t intend to bring you?
NTA. Short and simple she is taking advantage of your generosity. Now, if she can QUICKLY, give you back your 500 sure, but it was clear you were willing to give up your savings and if she had extra for 2 extra tickets, she needs to cash you out ASAP.
INFO/NAH
That is such a lovely, thoughtful thing to do. As a BTS fan (ARMY), I would say that she’s really lucky to have been able to get tickets in two different cities. A lot of people didn’t (can you believe that this is just the presale period?!). I think she is telling the truth when she says that both of these are huge, amazing experiences for her.
It’s also a lot easier to accept not being able to go when you know you might not even get tickets if you go through the effort of signing up for the membership, researching strategies for ticketing, and a combination of lightning fingers and pure luck. It’s another thing to actually come through victorious and then give it up to someone else. Now that she has them, I can see how she will make every effort to get the money to go.
What I think is tactless is that she’s excluding you and dismissing your feelings. Did she ask you if you would want to go to the concert together? Was that the original plan? Is it possible that she truly believes you wouldn’t care to go and that’s why she’s taking her friend… (to be honest, I’ve never gone to a live BTS concert, but I went to a cinema screening with my friend. She was not into it, and ending up getting a call and having to leave part way through. It really bummed me out. I’d rather not see a concert with someone who’s just humoring me). That being said a live concert is totally different than watching a projected recording. I think you would totally love it, and if going together is something you were looking forward to, I think you should open up to her about that.
Also, it sounds like OP is less bothered by not going, than he’s bothered by the paris show being less special because it won’t be “once in a lifetime,” and he’s bothered that she’s going to see them again with a friend. And I think he’s really hung up too much on the idea that doing something again somehow cheapens the first time. (Not to mention that the experiences will be different no matter what. I’m not even a fan and I know it would be.)
NTA
You’re paying for three tickets and not even going to any of them. The proper thing is ask if you want to go if not fine.
If she wants to go with a friend, she sells the Paris ticket, and yall do something together, or she goes to Paris alone.
Unless she plans on paying you back or having the friend pay you back for the money you spent on the ticket.
However, I side eye you wanting to give her a once in lifetime experience, are you sad because you personally wanted to do this special thing, or bitter cause its no longer special. It doesn’t have to be a once in a lifetime event to still be a good present/gift or event.
So, she told you that she couldn’t get the money for even a single ticket (much less travel and accommodations) for Paris, but now she wants to use everything you paid for AND can suddenly find the money for additional tickets, travel, and accommodations for Munich?
Yeah, that’s inconsiderate at best…and, at worst, she’s using you.
NTA.
So she is going to see it twice? Once in Paris with you and then again in Munich with her friend?
I would say if she pays you back for the Munich tickets then it’s ok. Let her see it again with her friend. However, I understand why you feel sad about it. Just don’t offer it again. Let her pay her own ticket next time, but don’t hold it against her. Fandom is a crazy thing. Any type of fandom.
I hope she will buy you a bike one day.
NTA, anytime I’ve bought my partner tickets to an event as a gift it’s for both of us to go together.
If you were trying to be really sweet and said I gifted you these two tickets for a night out with your friends that’d be one thing, but you planed a trip to Paris and she’s going to go alone and then again with a friend?
Sounds pretty rude/immature. I’d be selling the Paris ticket and not going away and her gift would be the two tickets whether you go with her or the friend does is her choice.
Info:
So you guys are still doing the Paris trip and she will go to the concert there, but she will also go to a second concert in Munich?
This is how i read your description of “it is just an add on now”.
If so – if she really finds the money for it and pays you back, and she still comes with you to Paris.. I feel like you should not stop her from going to a second concert in Munich.