Hi, I am (18F) and I’m still in school. I am repeating my last school year right now, because I had some personal problems last year. (btw, i live in europe (austria) so I has to repat the whole year). I didn’t really have friends in my old class. And I was a bit scared I wouldn’t find friends to connect with in my new class. But I knew a girl (17F) from last year, so we started to talk in school, and soon another girl (17F) joined our little school friend group.
And I really liked them and I don’t hate them now. But they are both starting to be annoying. One of them is in a 2 year relationship and one of them was in 2 week situation-ship, but he dumped her. But I never has anything near a situation-ship. So they talked about how I don’t have a boyfriend and started to jokingly ship me with our old male teacher, which I was very uncomfortable with, even though I know that it was just a joke.
A few days ago, they started shipping me with my brother, they say it is just a joke but I personally find that incredibly weird and in my opinion it isn’t really a joke. I told them multiple times, that I don’t like it, when they ship me with my brothers or my teachers. And they just say, that it’s a joke and they would find it funny. But they still continue and it has been going on for a week.
Also sometimes they make fun of me for my hair lenght and tell me I should’ve never cut it off, (maybe I’m overreactin, but I feel so kuch more comfortabl, since I cut my hair, but now I feel insecur) sometimes they eveb make fun of things i don’t want to name, because it is a bit traumatic for me.
I don’t really have other people in my class, that I can talk to and I don’t want to start a fight between us. So please tell me if I’m overreacting and maybe give my a few tips on how to handle this.
So AITAH??
NTA. They’re being disrespectful and not hearing you when you tell them to stop.
If they’re always making fun of you they’re not your friends.
These people are not your friends, it sounds like they are getring kicks out of seeing how far they can push you before you get upset.
right! who needs enemies when you’ve got friends like this. she shouldn’t hang out with them anymore, because they are insecure af and will continue to put OP down. better to be alone than bad company imo
Not not really your friend. Turn it back on them do they can see how upsetting it is
Those people are not your friends. They are being so incredibly mean to you and inappropriate.
NTA it would be better to be alone than be around people like that
They say things that make you uncomfortable and justify by claiming ‘it’s a joke.’
You tell them it makes you uncomfortable multiple times and instead of apologizing and promising not to do it again they double down on the ‘it’s just a joke ‘ bs. Spoiler: it’s not a joke. They enjoy making you uncomfortable.
They make fun of your hair. To the point you’re now insecure about it. Spoiler: they enjoy making you insecure.
“…sometimes they eveb make fun of things i don’t want to name, because it is a bit traumatic for me.”. Spoiler: they enjoy traumatizing you.
These people are telling you they enjoy tormenting you. Please believe them and dump them as “friends”. Because they really aren’t your friends. I’m sorry they’re treating you like this. You deserve better. NTA.
NTA- Think about it this way, if you are making new friends, would you ever make such jokes like that? So early in the friendship?
I think these jokes are weird as hell completely, but if these people valued your friendship, they’d be gauging your sense of humour and stop making those weird jokes the second you expressed discomfort. With every new connection, people are usually on their best behaviour.
These girls do not value your friendship. Any normal person would get embarrased if their weird joke didn’t land well. The fact that they keep doing it shows they don’t think of you as a friend, but as a plaything to make fun of.
If they act like this in the beginning of the friendship, then I shudder to think of what they would say or do when they get more comfortable😬. These people will stop all over your boundaries. Distance yourself ASAP.
NTA
they do not sounds like real friends
NTA. When they say it’s a joke, ask them “How is that funny?” Just stare at them until they answer. If they do not really answer the question but try dodging it instead, ask again. This technique works well with most bullies.
The other solution is to reflect their behavior right back at them.
Do either of them have brothers? Or dads?
“Stacey, you’re really obsessed with the idea of girls fucking their brothers. I assume that’s because of your personal experience. How is [Her Brother]? Is he any good?”
If she doesn’t have a brother, substitute her dad.
You did a good job trying the mature option first by asking them to stop. Since they didn’t, it’s time to make them uncomfortable.
NTA. “It’s just a joke” stops being a joke the second you say you’re uncomfortable and they keep doing it. That’s bullying.
NTA.
These are not friends, they are high school bullies.
NTA. Not overreacting at all. They encourage you to hang around because they enjoy being mean to you. They are not your friends. “I don’t really have other people in my class, that I can talk to.” What is wrong with all your other classmates that you can’t talk with them? At least they’re not tearing you down and doing their best to traumatize you.