So for context my cousin did not have a good home life growing up. It was basically like an abusive household. Because of that she went to go live with our nana at and papa at like 15-16 along with her oldest brother who was like 17-18 at the time now is 21.
In the beginning on 2025 she had moved in with me. I live with my two brothers ( 15 and 13) along with my baby sister who is 4 and my mom and her gf who are (37 and 30). All of us living in a small house with 3 bed rooms can be hectic. My two bothers shared a room and I had my own room for awhile. Now when my cousin started “living with us” (it wasn’t decided yet if she was going to live here atp) I was more than glad to give up my room and to share a room with her. I would offer for her to put the couch in my room (my room is tiny by the way) so she could be with me.
Now it’s been nearly a year and I really want my own room back. We share a bunk bed so she constantly moves and shakes the bed every one minute, gets otp with her friends late at night, if I ask her not to do something there would be tension and attitude from her end. At night she faces the fan towards her and I’m up on the top bunk hot ass hell. Mind you I get hot very easily. Also not to mention but I also have no privacy. I would be naked and she would still walk on in making me feel uncomfortable and no privacy. I can’t say what I want to my friends because she would be all up in my business. There is also little to no space. Every corner is taken by a desk, drawer, nightstand, and a bed. So imagine two teenage girls in a small ass room who both have a lot of things. It tends to look messy more often than not.
Having my own room it was so much more cleaner, nobody interrupting my sleep, space was much more better, I could use my own tv without worrying about disturbing someone’s peace, I had privacy and no one knew my business unless told to. I also wasn’t ashamed to be sharing a room because I wasn’t at the time. Things were just a lot better for me mentally and physically. Now I can’t even enjoy blasting music without her judging my music. I also don’t really watch tv and instead I use my iPad.
I just wanna know what I could do and am I the asshole in the situation
you’re 17 and need your space a year of sharing a bunk bed with a 20byear old is more than enough
NTA. Tbh this sounds exhausting. You did a nice thing letting her move in but a year of zero privacy, bad sleep, and tension would drive anyone nuts. Wanting your own room back doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you human. You’re allowed to have boundaries even if someone’s had a rough life
Does she have a job? Can the family afford to get a bigger place? If she’s kicked out of the house, where would she go?
Is there not enough room if you clear stuff out to have two single beds in there.
NTA, of course you don’t want to share a small room at your age. You should ask your parents if they can make other arrangements. Your cousin is almost 20, is she working or in college or what? If she’s working, maybe it’s time for her to move into a shared rental (or her own place if she can afford it.)
It sounds as if your grandparents have room for additional people at their place. Moreover, your cousin is an adult, and not a child in need of shelter. Please talk with your mother and explain your needs and see if there’s a way to get your cousin different housing. NTA
NTA Sounds like cousin has forgotten she is a guest in your space and not a crappy older sibling bossing around their younger sister. It’s time to have a talk about respect and boundaries at minimum. Talk to your parents about how to approach it if them being mediators makes you more comfortable. Hogging the fan, no knocking, being up in your business, those are all behavior choices. She needs to remember her manners. Maybe it’s time you have the bottom bunk.