I (17f) am thinking about moving to my dads.Ii currently live with my mom, stepdad and sister (23f) in a 4-bedroom house where we rent 2 bedrooms and the other 2 are unoccupied. My mom can’t afford to rent another room for me and my sis to have our own.
My sister recently moved back in because she is pregnant and the commute from where she used to live before is very long. So we are now sharing a very small room. I understand that she has nowhere also to go but it is also very inconvenient. I have my A Level exams this year and I normally stay up late studying, doing homework or talking with friends etc but because she is here, I can’t do that because she has work the next morning. She also snores very loudly which keeps me up at night and is very irritable which is probably because she is pregnant so i try not to hold it against her but it gets to a point.
I have been spending a few afternoons a week by my dad recently and I have been considering living by him. He hasn’t always been present and he is also a frequent drinker and smoker so that is a problem, but when I am by him he mostly just lets me do my thing. Even though his apartment is small I would have my own room and privacy. I just am not sure what to do because I can’t talk to my mom about it because she gets upset unprovoked when I bring up problems with my sister being in my room.
I haven’t made up my mid yet, but I am seriously considering it.
Your moms going to have to come to terms with too many people not enough room. She needs to figure out a way to rent a third room
YWNBTA – it’s a hard topic, and good luck to you having the discussion with your mom, but if it will genuinely improve your quality of life and – most importantly – set you up for future success with your A levels, you should 100% feel ok making that choice.
NTA. Wanting privacy and a quiet place to study especially with important tests coming up is totally reasonable. You’re not trying to punish your mom or sister, but prioritizing your future. If living with your dad gives you your own space and a calmer environment, it’s not rude to them to consider it. You’re allowed to prioritize your education but, I would definitely be considerate of your mom’s feelings, especially if she gets upset easily like you said.
Your sister is working, SHE should be paying to rent another bedroom. Where does everyone think that the baby is going to sleep once it is born? Are they going to expect you to share a room with your sister AND her baby?
Info: what are you expected to do when the baby comes? Still share the same room at your mom’s?
I tried asking and they got upset and didn’t answer. So I’m not really sure. I know she had plans before to move out but that would be a few months after the baby is born.
That means yes. You need to move now. Good luck on your A-levels.
Just tell her you have good news, that you’ve come up with a solution to the issues you’ve been having with your sister, if you decide living with your dad would be best for you. NTA
Are you going to have to share a room with your sister AND the baby once the baby comes?
NTA, but talk to your dad first.
That sounds like the UK?
So your family are renting 2 bedrooms in a 4 bed HMO (House of multiple occupancy) where there are locks on the bedroom doors?
Why isnt your sister applying fir universal credit and housing allowance using that to rent one of the other rooms?
Also assuming you are in school/college if you move out your sad can apply to get the child benefit switched to him as the residential parent.
What are your mother’s plans for after the baby arrives?
NTA. Move out before they make you take care of your sister baby. Because obviously he’s gonna sleep in your room too.
NTA (YWNBTA). But you need to think seriously about what being at your dad’s full time would look like given his drinking. A few afternoons a week is different to being there full time. Can you be sure that his behaviour will be less disruptive than your sister’s? Or that he’ll be reliable about thing like food shopping?
On the other hand. Do you know what the plan is for when your sister has the baby? Are you going to be sharing a room with the baby too?
NTA
Damn. What are they going to do when she has the baby?! Yes definitely move to your dads house. At best you’ll just lose your room and have to sleep on the couch if you stay. At worst you’ll be sleeping on the couch AND helping your parents raise this baby. But you need to really care for yourself at your dads. There’s a good possibility for you to get messed up in all that and end up like your sister. Avoid going down that road at all costs, keep your head down and take care of yourself until you can move out.