I meant 30 female black woman has three friends mid 30s Brandon Mexican fake name and a married couple in their mid 20s Emily fake name Mexican and Josh fake name Heath Filipino. Ethnicities are necessary. We were all at my apartment having a good time when Josh says he left something in the car and I say it’s OK. This is the safe apartment building And the gate is down so no one outside can get in. Emily proceeds to say unless you have a lot of Asian people here because they tend to steal a lot. I asked her if she’s serious or joking and she says no I’m serious. They like to grab things all the time especially free stuff and they’re always stealing And then she asks her husband Josh isn’t it true and he says oh yeah it is. I myself and Black and Filipino so I did take offense to this even though I do not look Asian. I perceive to ask her why would she say that and does she realize how that’s coming across because in our area we have a lot of Mexicans and if I were to use her logic, I would say Mexicans do more stealing than anything because I’m predominantly around them, but I don’t believe in that. She had no examples or facts of why she thought this way and I told her I will not tolerate that and then I ask my other friend Brandon and I wrong for thinking what she’s saying is racist and not OK and he proceeds to say I’m not in it and so I call him out and say you not being in it is you complying with her And essentially saying you’re OK with it and I will not tolerate that and maybe I’m confused but they said that if you want to change someone’s mind, you have to give up a little bit of yourself to compromise. But in my head, why would I compromise with racism so the rest of the night was awkward And everyone acted like what she said was not wrong so I’m asking you guys am I wrong for calling out my friend on making a blanket statement about Asian people being thieves and stealing as if it’s in their DNA? Also, I did take a couple of days to calm down and talk to them individually And all I got was an OK after I told him how I felt and one of them named Brandon didn’t even reply back so I feel like this is the end of a friendship. And sorry for the grammatical errors I’m legally blind so I’m not going back to edit this because I’m so upset lol
NTA. Yup that’s racist.
You don’t need to be that race to feel offended.
I will never forget the time my mom made a racist joke (and somehow didn’t realize how wrong what she said was..) and I still feel offended to this day. It was grotesque.
NTA and you don’t need to justify your origins to call out BS.
I agree I just put it in there for contacts to show how hurt it personally meant to me because of my background.
NTA – racism in any form sucks and should be called out.
NTA.
What your friend said **WAS** straight up racist. Emily shouldn’t generalize an entire race based on no actual experience of the sort. This is just being racist to be racist
NTA. It’s racist. But I’m afraid that talking to them individually won’t make any difference – they are racist. There’s no compromising there. I’d distance myself from the relationship.
NTA.
You were 100% right to call out that blatant stereotype; generalizing an entire ethnicity as thieves isn’t a “joke” or opinion as far as I’m concerned. You’re not obligated to compromise with bigotry to keep the peace. Good on you for standing up.
“I took offense to this whole thing even tho i dont look asian” you dont need to look like a certain race to be offended or upset about racism .