I had a baby 8 months ago via emergency c-section.
I’m a breastfeeding mama and I will admit I’m fat, I put on a lot of weight during the pregnancy as I was in a lot of pain in my hips and back and just gave up exercise and got pretty lazy and hungry.
After having my baby I was recovering form my c-section and getting into any kind of routine.
I lost about 3 stone after birth and I know most of that was my son and the other stuff.
but then I just sat at the same weight I bounce up and down but only by a few pounds here and there.
I know I need to do something about it but I’m so worried about losing my milk supply, and I have a lot of negativity in my life due to hurtful things my partner says without thinking and a MIL who enjoys upsetting me.
My partner decided to "correct" me when I said that I don’t want to focus too much on losing weight while I’m breastfeeding because it could affect my supply but I will try harder to lose weight.
because I said beastfeeding weight loss is different to normal weight loss, because if we lose too much our supply drops and so on and so forth.
(two members of his family are on mounjaro)
He decided to throw in that. they have lost weight just by watching what they are eating so it’s all about what you eat.
I got very annoyed by this because they are getting a medicated assist to help them lose weight and comparing a mother who is breastfeeding to people who are losing weight with medication assisting them doesn’t seem fair.
He’s now refusing to talk to me cos he believes hes completely right and hasn’t said anything wrong.
That I’m being out of order for getting angry and saying he shouldn’t be comparing the weight loss journeys because I won’t be able to have an assist.
He’s saying I’m being childish by calling him out and saying he shouldnt be comparing the two situations because I can’t have mounjaro to help me lose weight.
I did say to him it’s fine for him to mention I should lose weight and things like that as I know I need to but just that the comparisons is wrong.
I have a feeling that his mother has interfered here but who knows, this is her M.O.
so AITA for getting annoyed.
NTA-But, I’m sorry is there a typo? Isn’t 3 stone 42 lbs? like you lost 42 lbs in less than a year?!
Edit: NTA If you eat healthy nothing will happen to your supply and you loose some weight. It’s not about starving, it’s about what you eat.
I have said to him I do need to start eating better and I have been looking at what diets are best to follow. I don’t disagree with him that it is what you eat that help with weight loss.
Don’t think of it as a diet. Think about focusing on whole foods and reducing processed foods, as well as trying to be more active. You will lose weight by burning more calories than you consume
I’ve arranged going for more walks with the pram with another new mum so we can both try to get active to lose weight.
The stuff I’ve read says a lot more about whole foods and removing processed foods, and lots of veggies and fruits.
Which I do eat fruit and veg, so not a big change there just have to eat more.
I just disagreed with the comparison the “if it’s easy for them to lose weight watching what they eat then so can you”
Of it was that easy they wouldn’t have use the injection.
Do what you can. Eat healthily because it’s good for you, walk / exercise because it’s good for your mental and physical health. Eat biscuits in the middle of the night when up breastfeeding because you’re knackered, fed up and this is a short period of your life. Don’t beat yourself up. My son is 22 months now – I have good weeks where I eat well and exercise and bad weeks where his sleep goes to shit again and I consume too much sugar and caffeine.
First, you’re not an AH for feeling annoyed, even when you’re wrong. Feelings are valid.
Second, your partner doesn’t sound very intelligent, very nice, or very good with people. That must make being his partner hard. It sounds like he’s the AH in a lot of situations. He is in this one.
I’m sorry that you have to struggle with what you want for your body for yourself, and what you want for your baby. I’m sorry that it sounds like you’re unsupported in this struggle.
NTA
The hormonal changes in breastfeeding can have wildly different effects on people. For some people they cannot lose weight at all until they wean.
Also your husband sounds like a d#@k. You created and birthed an entire child with that body, yes it’s temporarily changed but he has absolutely ZERO say in how it looks currently and weight loss should be entirely because you want to. Absolutely he shouldn’t be commenting on your weight at all.
https://www.reddit.com/r/breastfeeding/s/ZR1yqtrlRh
NTA honey. You need to tell him it’s actually NOT okay to comment negatively on your weight. It doesn’t sound like he has major concerns for your health—just that he wants you to go back to your pre-baby body for his own reasons. I have no thoughts on your weight (that’s a convo for you and your doctor) but what’s really unhealthy is having a man who treats you like this and makes you hate your body.
Also, you may want to seek counseling to deal with your current body image struggles and with your internalization of his negativity. Not judging, that just sounds hard to deal with and you deserve to be listened to.
NTA – As a fellow breastfeeding mother who is currently on a weight loss journey: You do what is best for you! I am 11m into my breastfeeding journey and started being mindful about the what I ate in October, my “deficit” was 2000 calories and I just increased my activity level slowly, started with home workouts, then started a weekly fitness class, then started with an Online PT so I had a professional tell me what exercises were best for my goals, and now I’m in the gym twice a week, fitness class once a week and a home workout, eating well but still enough and I’m nearly 2 stone down with no affects on my milk supply!
You can lose weight without losing your milk supply, just do it responsibility and listen to your body if it needs extra rest or food! Good luck 😊
YTA for being in a relationship with this man, and procreating with him.
Your partner can go fuck himself with a cactus. You have many things on your plate right now that matter, weight loss is not one of them.
NTA.