I and my friend are both women in our mid-30s.
I am very outgoing and have many friends; she’s quite the opposite, but we clicked and became good friends. I am the type of person who really values my friendship. Even if I am in a relationship, I require my partner to value my friend, so I expect my friend to do the same too.
For example, my ex (we broke up recently; in this example he’s still my boyfriend) bought me a small fan that worked really well. I immediately asked my friend if she wanted one, and I told my ex to buy one for her. So I would expect my friend to treat me the same.
However, my friend acted weird recently; she replied to my messages slowly (this never happened before). I kept asking, and she finally said she felt like I was ‘using her and her boyfriend’, but I never had such an intention. I think it’s very normal for friends to help each other.
She brought up some examples:
1. She said she disliked I asked her to buy me gifts and drinks. She said I could buy them myself. I know, but I think it shows intimacy to buy things for each other. I sometimes buy little stuff for her too.
2. She said she disliked I frequently asked her and her boyfriend to go places with me. Before I broke up with my ex, I invited them for a group gathering, and I think it’s normal; couples don’t just always spend time together. And after I break up, I sometimes need people to accompany me to go places with, and she’s my best friend. That’s why I asked her.
3. I asked her boyfriend to drive and carry things for me (I didn’t contact her boyfriend directly. I just asked her), but she refused. I think it’s normal for people who have cars to help their friends? And for guys to help ladies to carry heavy stuff. I think she has overreacted to this.
I never meant to use her or her boyfriend. Again, friends help each other. If she asked me or my boyfriend to do things for her, I would say yes with no hesitation, so I am really in shock that she felt that way. AITA on this??