Am I(20) the asshole for thinking about getting my ex(20 turning 21) a pull up exercising bar for his birthday in february? I recently broke up with him at the beginning of january. i did not disclose every reason i broke up with him but one is that he made me feel insecure about our weight classes (we are both healthy weights). he’s been exercising for a while and he told me it’s been a good way to cope with our break up (our break up was sad but healthy). i think it would be one good last gift from me to help him cope but also better himself! let me know if i’m an asshole for getting him this gift? thanks!
EDIT: some more nuance to it, we go to the same college. we live in the exact same neighborhood. we both moved away from family so we are still each other emergency contact. so i would feel awkward :/
2 EDIT: i am the asshole haha!! i won’t get him anything 🤣
He’s your ex, why are you getting him a gift?
YTA. Just make a clean break of it. Dragging it out by continuing to buy gifts just causes problems.
ETAH– It sounds to me more like a “get back together gift.” Mixed signals at best.
You left for a reason, and a darn good one.
“I want to help him cope with losing me!” feels like “I want a close up view of him suffering from our break up.” or maybe it’s ‘I regret my decision.” Either way, you are playing games.
Get out of his life. You broke up with him because his existence made you feel some type of way. You are not ‘healthy’ for him, at all.
Why? YTA. Either you’re playing games or want him back.
INFO: how much contact do you have with him? Is he in the same friend group and therefore you socialise with him regularly? If not, why are you still talking to him?
I’ll be honest OP, this is confusing. If you’ve broken up, even if you agreed to be friends, you need some space to process the break-up. And he’ll need even more space. You’re still acting like his girlfriend.
YTA to yourself. Leave’em and block’em. No gifts. You aren’t friends. You broke up over something shallow like weight classes. It makes you look desperate, like you are hoping they come back. You don’t. You are young, and again sounds like you broke up for a ridiculous reason. You can find someone better for you and waste your money on them. Better yet! Use the money on yourself!
Why are you getting him a gift if you are broken up? Is this supposed to be a passive aggressive gift like he is having so much trouble getting over you he needs this?
YTA. Don’t give gifts to your ex, regardless of reasons. Move on.
YWBTA…Do not buy him a birthday gift. Stop with the mixed signals. All you are doing is prolonging the break up process. If you want to help him you need to leave him alone. He should not be your emergency contact.
YTA – I feel like your looking for justification to give a passive aggressive gift… Youve broken up so keep the boundary of being broken up. (being someones temp emergency contact because you are both the only people near by doesnt mean you can use this as justification to keep the relationship/ its issues going)
Don’t take this the wrong way, you broke up, it sucks, don’t get him anything, he’ll masturbate to some porn for a week and move on
YTA. He’s not your project. Get on with your life. He’s an adult. You need to get over him.
This smells like you’re playing games…as in, “here’s something to help you get over me”.
YTA.