When i was a kid around 10 or 11 I used to get paid to do chores like vacuuming the house , cleaning the car etc 10 quid here or 20 quid there every now & again I’d be doing all the chores available to me. when my parents split when I around 14-15 ish & it was at this point it time were my ma started looking to me & my siblings for money. I honestly could not tell you why I gave her that money but I was young & impressionable & perhaps trusted my ma a bit to much. it was 895 euro which is lot of money.
I’m 20 M I work part time while in college I’m in my second year of 4 years at this college. I had planned to pay my way as I went however my parents offered to cover the cost which I was more than happy to let them do of their own volition to contribute to my future prospects & education towards my future career. around November 2024 my ma started charging me rent she does this with 2 of my 4 siblings. I live in my family home with my ma 2 of my sisters & my brother my other sister has no relation to my mother & is irrelevant in this story. when she started charging me rent I was furious with the fact that she had the gall to suck money out my bank like a vampire when she owes me money I of course was outraged when she started charging me 80 quid a month ( I make around 630-690 euro every month on average ) i choose to invest my my money & to save & be financial responsible I think she took offense when I didn’t engage in rampant consumerism & wasting my money on non essentials like she did when she was young. she moved out when she was 18 she always says stuff to me saying why don’t you spend your money what are saving your money to spend on she says this line " I’ve had enough to invest " or I’ve never had enough to save & if you ask me it complete & utter bullshit. when she moved out at 18 already had a job when she was 16 she is still with the same company she gone through many job titles but was always int he same company is currently an it co-ordinater high paying role as an it co-ordinator i checked google to fact check my thoughts on what she makes & according to indeed an it co-ordinator with her level of experience would be paid anywhere from 85 k to 100 k a year which is more than enough for a family of 4 livin in the gaf.
I confronted her about this & she said that I was being unfair asking for the money I lent her & I had said that it was unfair of her to judge me & charge me rent with intention of paying her debt. she wants my money from rent & has no intention to pay me back for the debt she owes me.
I’d let it go if it was a small amount with 895 euro is a lot of money that could be invested or saved for the future in a yield savings account instead of being owed to me with no proof other than memory. if she did what she did to a bank or a a credit union she would probably have to pay Them or go to jail because they make contracts & get signatures when loaning me I was unlucky to not know to get proof when I lent this money to her.
Am I the Asshole ?
Not saying you’re wrong for wanting money back but if this was such an issue for you…why didn’t you ask for the money back sooner??? Also 80 quid a month for rent isn’t bad? Give you don’t pay for your schooling and save the rest which is ~500 euro. Again I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting your money but this all seems bizarre
This. I would say OP should move out and stop talking money with mom but at 80/month I see why he doesn’t.
You’re never getting that money back. You’re NTA for asking for it or wanting it back, but you’re never going to get it back. Let it go, move out, and stop talking to your mom about money.