\*\*NONE OF THESE NAMES ARE REAL\*\*
So I (30F) have a now ex friend Tara (21F). We share a niche community. Therefore we have alot of overlap in friends.
Well I planned a trip with my best friend Hannah. We then invited Willow cuz life is kinda stressful at their house. Thats it. Thats the guest list. Both also friends with Tara. this all happened sept/oct before Tara and i made up. Im not sure when Tara and i made up.
Dec 1st i even loaned her money for rent and utilities to be paid back out of her financial aid (paid out in Jan/Feb).
Fast forward to Jan 24th. We leave 10 for our vacation. We get to the hotel and settle in. By this point ive been getting attitude from Tara. Willow says Tara messaged her. So I got upset and messaged Tara. she then goes OFF. She feels she could have attended. How? She owes me 1500? Because, that if she came she would have had to take her own car and pay for her own hotel room. thats costly. I ended up having to block her to enjoy my vacation.
Im very upset by this point. I feel shes being an entitled snob. You cant expect preplanned and prepaid plans to be rearranged around you. I unblocked (jan 26th) her to let her know i wanted my 1500 back. I misquoted for 2k at first. I will admit, thats my bad. I went to Cashapp to investigate. Sure enough, i was wrong.
Well she blocked me. I decided to message one of her friends (also a community member but im not close at all with them) basically saying she has until april 26th (90ish days out from jan 26th). She then unblocks me just to call me the queen of entitled and "have fun shitting away more money".
AITA here? Because i feel ive done nothing wrong. things are allowed to happen without ppl. And loans are to be paid back even if we arent friends anymore. right?
**ETA and Clean up timeline**
A) Tara was blocked because of the barrage of messages. "This is not how you treat your friends" or "i could have afforded it". No, you still owe me 1500.
B) Texting the friend was rude. I will own that. I will apologize at an event later if shes comfortable with that (consent is big for our community).
C) The early debt collection is now. Via court. Vs febuary or april.
D) Yes im actually 30.
I’m having so much trouble following this. It needs some paragraph breaks to make it easier to read.
NTA for not inviting someone who owes you money on vacation, but YTA for involving her friend in it out of nowhere. I understand that she had blocked you, but that was below to the belt to do that. Send her a payment request. If she doesn’t send the money, then take her to court for it. If you’re in the US, you can go through small claims and do it without an attorney.
Same, OP needs to learn to write the events in the order they happened. I was kind of able to follow until “So sometime after Tara and I made up.”
Never loan money
Sounds like you learned why the hard way, sorry
NTA
ESH, but lightly on your end. She absolutely owes you the money and you’re right to collect it regardless of the friendship status. That said, blocking/unblocking and involving a third party friend probably escalated things more than necessary. Still, her expecting an invite and then insulting you instead of paying her debt is wild. Pay your bills before worrying about vacations.
I don’t believe you’re 30.
Me either, probably cause NONE OF THE NAMES ARE REAL!
However, given her disjointed writing style, she could be the leader of the free world.
You are 30 ? Really? Honestly you all sound 12. But NTA for not having her on the trip when she owes you money, ESH for blocking and getting all caught up in this.
Op said she expected to be paid Jan/ Feb, so the payment isn’t late.
Good catch. I started to glaze over reading this…
ESH. Tara for her entitlement of assuming she should be invited to come along, and you for writing to the other community member about the debt. The debt is between you and her, and might be something she would not want that person or the rest of the community to know about. And if the payment was not late yet, she has every right to expect that the information stays private.
I’m not clear on how demanding it back by end of April constitutes “collecting on her debt early” as per the heading if payment was expected “Jan/Feb”, but either way “Jan/Feb” is not over yet, so she wasn’t late with the payment yet.
NTA about the trip but you both need to mature some.
NTA for not inviting her, but really , all this blocking and unblocking and the generally incoherence of your writing make it sound like young teens carrying on.
Ah well, sorry but it sounds like you found out the hard way about lending money to flaky types.
NTA. If you can’t afford rent then you can’t afford a vacation. Hope you get the money back. Don’t lend to her again.
NTA.
You’re NTA for not inviting Tara but y’all shouldn’t be friends at all. This sounds like teenage drama than issues between grown women