AITAH I’m 24 F and my bd (24) have been broken up since October of 2024, and lived together for a month after we broke up then moved in with my parents for almost a year and my best friend offered me and my daughter a room in their house which they also invited my bd to live with them (my bd is my best friend’s husband’s brother) and from the start it was messy for a while, but then we figured stuff out between us and were cool enough to live together still. Mid September of 2025 I’ve noticed that he was talking to a girl and was planing a trip for him to “visit” is new girlfriend. In reality it was him moving in with his girlfriend of only a few months to Washington state where she lived. ( a little extra background even when we were together I was the one doing the cooking, cleaning and taking care of our baby while also being the only one providing for the three of us) when he decided to leave I didn’t want him to have a relationship with our daughter bc how can you leave your kid for a girl who you just met. Well fast forward to now he’s here to take care of his mom after she has surgery. I guess him and his new girlfriend are having trouble in their relationship. But the new girlfriend is worried that he is gonna cheat on her with me all while I’m in a happy healthy relationship with a girl I’ve known for 10 years. I’ve told my bd multiple times if his girlfriend can’t handle that I have to make sure I’m in contact with him incase something happens to our kid then I don’t want her to have a relationship with our kid. But he keeps saying that him and his girlfriend has had that conversation about each others kids life lives. I wasn’t part of that conversation so in my mind she doesn’t have a relationship with my kid. And I say my kid bc I’m the one who has always token care of our daughter. The main way my bd can see our daughter is on FaceTime, but not with me, but with his mom. And in the past I’ve had a problem with him contacting his mom instead of me when it comes to our kid. I know I keep swaying from the main topic but all of these things are important to me. So ig his new gf is jealous of me but idk why. I get that me and him were in a relationship for three years and I will admit I’ve cheated on him multiple times. That’s a big reason why we broke up but not the only thing contributing to the break up. So am I the asshole for not wanting my bd’s new gf have a relationship with my kid?
Edit:yall I want my kid to have a relationship with her father and I want to have a friendly conversation with the new gf, I just don’t want my daughter to be around someone who is gonna disrespect her mother
YTA for not using paragraph breaks, commas and periods. The sentences are also way too long.
ESH
All of you need to grow up and put the child first.
YTA, grow up and learn to co-parent and to put your child first, not your personal feelings.
YTA. If my boyfriend’s “baby momma” (he doesn’t really use that term, he says his child’s mother) didn’t want me to have a relationship with his child it would be pretty unrealistic. My bfs daughter is 3 and she just thinks I’m her dads friend right now. I feel like eventually when she gets older and I don’t try to build some sort of relationship that it will be awkward. This perspective is coming from the fact that I absolutely hated my mom’s boyfriend growing up and it made things miserable for me.
ESH. You all sound exhausting and I just feel sorry for your poor kid.
ESH. Him for leaving his kid and you for thinking you have any control over him. You don’t and you can’t tell him who he can and can’t introduce to kid child. You complain about him but you chose to make a baby with him. Actions and consequences.
Yta
It’s not only your kid , it’s his kid too , suck it up
I didn’t read your post but based solely on the title, yes, YTA.
Edit: read it, you’re still the asshole. Too immature to have had a kid.
You all sound pretty bad here. You have a kid. Do you have a legal custody agreement? It sounds like the adults here need to all have an adult conversation and stop all of this nonsense that is no doubt bad for the child here.
ESH, you all sound so immature and none of you is considering the child or putting them first but own personal feelings
YTA. If you want your kid to form healthy relationships then his fathers girlfriend absolutely has to be in the picture. It also has nothing to do with you. Youre coming across as controlling.
YTA
Don’t weaponize your child’s relationship with her father for your own petty grievances.
YTA, both for being way too immature to be a parent and putting your own feelings ahead of your kid (and after you blew up the first relationship with affairs) and for cross posting to other accounts.
YTA, you decided you didn’t want your child’s father to have a relationship with his child because you didn’t like the fact he moved to be with his girlfriend. You need to figure out how to coparent.