I (15 F) was left alone from 12 pm till 4 pm at home alone with my younger sister (9 F) since our parents went to an apartment in my mother’s name to check how things are.
Having been left alone, the responsibility of cleaning and cooking lunch for me and my sister fell on me. So I cleaned and organized my shared room with my sister, my mother’s bedroom, and the living room, clearing the table of the mess my parents left before leaving (which took me hours). Then I cooked for my sister and I, we ate, I took the plates away. Shortly after, our parents came back,my father quickly left since he had work, but my mom immediately started bashing me, telling I haven’t cleaned anything, that everything’s dirty, that the kitchen looks like shit, I told her that I did clean, but she just kept on bashing, saying how I can’t do anything right, that I’m lazy, and whenever I tried talking or defend myself, she kept on shouting telling that I’m ungrateful, selfish, to stop talking back and to stop acting all high and mighty (these are verbatim what she said to me)
Now I’m really sad and feel like crying cause I thought I did something good and that she would be happy and I don’t know if I’m really the one at fault here 🙁
NTA You did the best you could in the 4 hours that your parents were away. It’s not like you didn’t try. You can’t please everyone, I wouldn’t worry about it. Your Mom was out of line.
NTA. They were gone for only four hours, and yet somehow her bedroom is your responsibility to clean? I can understand lunch and cleaning up after yourselves, but she is asking way too much of you
Yes, my mother and stepfather expected me to clean their bedroom and bathroom, the kitchen, my room, my bathroom, and the living room when i was 12. I moved in with my dad when i was 15. Once i had kids, i realized how unreasonable it was for them to expect me to clean their bedroom and bathroom…i never used it, why should i be the one cleaning it? Ugh.
I think it’s best to talk to her privately when she is in a better mood. It sounds like she was hyper-focused on one thing in the kitchen that she noticed out of place and didn’t see the cleaned-up table, living room, or bedrooms. She and your dad may have had frustration over something else at that other apartment visit. Also, you are still learning what it means to clean. When my kids were young, I had to be very specific with what I meant to clean their room or the kitchen, or to my eyes, it would look like nothing was done.
Tell her that after she yelled at you, you felt very sad and hurt because you did x, y, z and thought you did a good job. Don’t raise your voice when you tell her how you felt. If she starts getting louder, don’t react. It seems she is speaking in a way that’s not productive to having a good relationship with someone who is 3 years away from adulthood.
NTA, idk if she is usually like this but that was not necessary. She either wanted something specific done that she didn’t share or no matter what you did it wouldn’t be enough. Either way she’s the AH
Is she always ungrateful about the work you do or was this unusual for her?
Why is it your responsibility to clean your mother’s room?
For this reason I’m saying NTA.
You did a good job. Sometimes parents lash out unreasonably and this is one of those times. It sucks to be on the receiving end especially as a kid. NTA don’t be too hard on yourself
NTA
I hope you have some other family or friends that can support you.
Your parents are using you and this is a form of exploitation/ abuse.
You don’t exist to clean up after your mother and while all family members should contribute you are not your sister’s parent.
I am so sorry that your mother is demanding, critical and speaks to you so harshly.
You deserve better. You deserve a life.
NTA, OP, you’re only 15, and your mother is being way too harsh on you. You’re just a kid, and by what you described, you’re very responsible. It’s best to see if you have a school counselor and ask them for some advice.
NTA. You cooked, cleaned, and took care of your little sister while home alone. That’s a lot for anyone your age. Don’t let her yelling make you doubt your effort.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say your family’s not white American? Only bc I’m noticing a trend recently in the level of audacity certain cultures have in expecting daughters to be little mothers and it makes my blood boil on their behalf. NTA but if that’s normal for your culture I don’t know what to tell you in terms of dealing with it. And if it’s isn’t your culture then you need to prioritize gentle separation mentally, taking a deep breath and realizing their expectations are unrealistic and one day you’ll be free.
NTA. Next time it happens take before and after pictures. Also, your sister is NOT your child. Low key, your mom has no right to expect you to parent your sister and then be pissed at you for not parenting them the way she thought you should. Cleaning your mom’s room and picking up your parents’ mess? TF?? You’re 15, they’re adults. The parentification of eldest daughters is DISGUSTING and you don’t deserve to be made to feel like shit because of her rancid expectations.
Your mom’s TA because she said “you can’t do anything right.” There is no excuse for telling your child that.