Hi, I’m posting again with some additional context because I’m trying to understand whether I crossed a line or whether this was just poor communication on my part.
I live in a shared house. One housemate has been largely absent for several months but still keeps belongings and food in the house. There is a second freezer in the kitchen that was originally meant to be shared, but over time it became used almost exclusively by her.
We didn’t realise the freezer had stopped working because the light was still on and it was rarely opened by anyone else. Eventually there was a very strong mouldy smell coming from the kitchen. When I checked, all the food inside had gone off and appeared to have been moulding for a long time, to the point that liquid had leaked onto the floor.
I messaged her to let her know. She said she wouldn’t be back anytime soon and asked if I could throw everything away. Because of the mould and the fact that the landlord needed to come and repair the freezer, I bought cleaning supplies (gloves, masks, disinfectant) and spent several hours cleaning it so the kitchen was safe and presentable. I paid for the supplies myself.
Later the same day, I found out she had come back to town but went to stay at her girlfriend’s place instead of coming to the house. At that point, I felt frustrated and sent a message saying I was disappointed and asking if she could reimburse me for the cleaning supplies and time.
For additional context: over the past four months that she was here, I’ve regularly ended up doing shared household chores that were meant to be her responsibility as well (e.g. cleaning shared spaces, taking out rubbish) and cleaning up after her, without those efforts being acknowledged. She has a chronic health condition, which I try to be understanding about, but this has often meant tasks are left indefinitely unless someone else steps in.
She responded angrily, said she was in town for medical reasons, accused us of not caring about her wellbeing, then blocked the rest of the house and left the group chat.
I’m now wondering whether I handled this badly.
AITA for being annoyed and asking to be reimbursed, or should I have handled the situation differently?