So my partner last night commented that I wasn’t getting pizza for dinner Sunday night, it’s become a bit of a ritual to get ready for the week ahead and means I have leftovers for lunch.
She asked why that was and I told her just wasn’t feeling it. She pushed for more of an answer, I answered that her comments lately (they have been rare) asking if I need to eat certain things or eat as much as I do/ she used to share her food if she was full now she asks everyone else except me if there’s company, if no one wants it I have noticed she’ll put a used napkin on the plate.
I just told her this had gotten to me and I was putting in more effort to loose weight, this upset her and left her in a bad mood.
For a bit of context we usually get takeaway once a week together and I go to the gym about 3 times a week.
We like our own space and find we get socially overwhelmed by Sunday, so we spend Sunday nights separately and sort out our own dinners
NTA: So… just to clarify, she is upset and in a bad mood because you shared that you were impacted by the comments that she made about your weight? In what world could you be the asshole??
Hey man, I looked at your post history. Seems like guys don’t communicate with each other well. Try to work on that. Internet people’s validation won’t make your relationship more fulfilling but communicating might help you all get back on the same page
This seems more like a communication issue. NTA for not getting the pizza. But the issue you are feeling about food and her comments is something that you could have discussed with her directly prior to not ordering the pizza. We could say all day and night that she should not have had an expectation, but that expectation seems to be a reasonable one given the history. So if you’re going to change a regular part of the routine, go ahead and talk about it before making decisions. None of this makes you TA — just gives you something to think about so you don’t find yourself in this situation again.
Oh it’s a tough one. Whilst you can absolutely chose what you want to eat it feel a little like the choice was made to get back at your wife for the comments that had hurt you, and she knew that too.
Talk to your wife about the comments and how they made you feel.
Don’t make a point by choosing to spoil a nice evening routine – I think anyways 🙂
NTA. If you have separate dinners, I don’t know why you not wanting to have pizza would be an issue for her.
Sure, you could have perhaps raised your feelings about her comments before now, but i can see why they would have made you feel uneasy
Yeah there is a lot of passive aggression here. Her comments, your response and then her reaction to your response and then your response to her reaction. Im not sure there are a lot of assholes here but I do think you 2 might want counseling.
NTA. It is hard to tell someone that they are gaining weight. She should have been happy that you are willing to put in the effort. You are a good partner for taking your health seriously.
NTA and she shouldn’t be that upset as she has shown that she clearly has a issue with your weight