My sister and I haven’t had the best relationship over the years. 2025 was the year we really bonded ever since we lost our mom 3 years ago. It’s been on and off for reasons that do not relate to this post so I’ll skip that, just had to put it out for a little context.
She has two kids, 5 and 3 years and she brings them to me sometimes when maybe she has to work or has somewhere to be. This arrangement started last year because of the “bond” we had and I never had a problem with it, I love the kids and they love me and she told me how much it really helped her live a little when I took the kids so I was happy to do it. I had no problem with this arrangement cus I work on appointment and I had no strong client base back then so I always had time whenever she dropped the kids and would not pick them up by the time we agreed. Sometimes they overstay a day or two I still didn’t have a problem.
When I began getting more clients and more bookings I spoke to her about the situation and how I’d appreciate if she would always pick up the kids on time because I’ve had to cancel and reschedule appointments several times which isn’t really a good look for someone just starting up and the fact that people make deposits no matter how small to confirm booking. It worked out a couple of times until it didn’t, she went back to her old ways.
I opened a studio December 2025 and we discussed that I can’t be taking the kids whenever she wants but we can arrange visitations on weekends which she agreed. On the 18th of this month the kids visited and she was supposed to pick them up by 6pm but she didn’t until 2pm the next day and she never even called to ask if I had the day free or not. They were supposed to visit today but I canceled because I have to meet a client by 10am tomorrow. My sister begged yesterday that she would come get the kids in the evening but I just couldn’t take that chance, I said No and then she started talking about how she had plans and how I let the kids down because she had already promised them they were coming to me today. Now I feel like the Asshole.
NTA you need to keep a schedule.
NTA; it’s your sister’s doing that she can’t be trusted to pick up her children when she’s supposed to do so. It’s on her to hire a babysitter, not on you to be one.
the fact that the only thing i ask of her is to pick up the kids on time
OP – the first thing you need to understand is that the kids being let down is not your fault. People are very manipulative in saying that persons they want to use are hurting or punishing the kids. This is not about the kids. This is about your life and livelihood and a sister who uses you for her socialisation.
As long as you feel like the A, the door is always opened for you to be manipulated.
You 100% know you cannot trust your sister. So do you want to risk having to cancel on your client?
You can go ahead and put your sister’s life first and see how much that helps you.
NTA – say no and feel zero guilt. If she promised her kids something that is never on you.
i have zero guilt saying No to her, i only feel bad for the kids but i have to do whats best for me
She let you and the kids down …. Don’t play into it!
NTA. You cannot trust you sister not to cause problems with your work. You have to protect yourself.
Does sister have a drug or alcohol problem? it’s one thing to be late to pick kids by an hour, but whole day? NTA
Not to my knowledge, she just has an unpaid babysitter whom she trusts!
Yeah that’s not normal behavior at all. Sounds like an addiction issue.
You are not the ass hole. You are making more realistic boundaries because your sister lies to you and disrespects you. The problem is her. So now you have to be less flexible to protect your work. Too bad so sad. You’re still being available. Just not as flexible because you have a more full business schedule. This is life. You’re doing the right thing.
NTA sister is dragging everyone down with her avoiding her parental responsibilities. She can communicate like an adult, youve been more than understanding.
NTA
Don’t let your sister manipulate you with her kids , it’s not your responsibility to keep the kids happy. It’s all on her.
And tell her if she does it again you’ll call the police and report abandonment
‘Sometimes they overstay a day or two I still didn’t have a problem.’
A day or two????