I (24) organized a last-minute trip to Patagonia and invited a (24) friend to join me. I had booked a cabin and wasn’t keen on staying alone, so I had asked a few mates until Agustin was down to tag along. We didn’t make an itinerary, as he refused to meet up to chat beforehand. Throughout our time there, several incidents occurred that created significant tension. The most prominent was a planned 5-hour mountain trek. We got a very late start that afternoon because Agustin slept in all morning, despite our agreement to wake up early. He was in a cranky mood and refused to get up. In an effort to keep the peace and salvage the day, I prepared us breakfast.
When we finally arrived at the trailhead, Agustin got cold feet after a stranger warned us not to start so late. To address his concern, I suggested we ask the park information center and other trekkers for their opinion. Most agreed we still had enough time, so we proceeded. I had let him know I had no issue with going back down if he felt uncomfortable. He then claimed, "I’m not worried about me trekking, I’m worried about you trekking," which felt like a deflection.
We ended up staying overnight on the mountain. Initially, Agustin refused to camp, suggesting instead that I sleep alone and hike back down by myself the next day so he could descend immediately. Knowing it was a bad idea to descend in the dark, I reluctantly agreed to go with him so I would trek alone. He rushed me to hurry up with my photos and leave. However, while I was taking pictures, he dove into the lake, smoked a blunt with a stranger, and then abruptly decided he was willing to stay at the campsite after all.
His behavior at the campsite felt really disrespectful. He wanted to urinate right next to our sleeping area because it was cold outside. When I asked him to go farther away to avoid getting our sleeping bags wet, he became upset and ripped my sleeping bag off me in the freezing cold. He then smoked cigarettes right beside me multiple times during the night without asking if the smoke bothered me, despite my previous requests during the trip for him to wash his hands because they smelled of smoke.
The next morning, when it was time to hike down, Agustin was content to let me go alone so he could have some tea first, felt I was rushing him. I had already told him not to worry about paying for our shared accommodation, as he claimed to be broke. When he finally arrived at the cabin later, his only question was, "How was it?" I told him I made it down safely but was really upset he was so willing to leave me to hike alone. He ignored me and offered no apology.
Upset he didn’t apologize, I asked him to leave and find his own place to stay. He immediately erupted, screaming insults at me, calling me a bitch, and refusing to let me speak. I don’t want anyone to be homeless or on the streets, but I did have him leave our accommodation as I felt uncomfortable.
How old is everyone?
Paragraphs.
This person should no longer be your partner or your friend.
Or acquaintance, or anyone even in your contact list other than to be blocked.
ESH – Whoever you are talking about (you never explained your relationship) was definitely not happy about taking part in that trek and made it your problem. You suck because you completely disregarded your own safety at every turn. You made a 5 hour trek late in the day. You agreed to return same day but stopped to take pictures knowing it was late and unsafe. You left alone by choice, despite supposedly worrying about your safety, instead of waiting for him to have tea. You can’t choose to leave on your own and complain that he doesn’t care about your safety. You both obviously have very different ideas about how to travel that should have been discussed before hand.
NTA. Get rid of this leech. Who cares where he ends up? He will find someone else to mooch off.
This guy is an asshole. You accepted or condoned a lot of asshole behaviour and allowed the circumstances that bother you to worsen. That does not make you an asshole to anyone but yourself.
That said his assholery is of such a magnitude that I can’t say everyone sucks, even though it feels appropriate.
NTA
Please put some paragraphs in and at least name or at the very least give initials to who you’re talking about and let us know who they are in relation to you. Awful to read.
NTA. I don’t know why anyone would spend time with a person like this.
NTA. He must be super cute with a large wang to be so awful. I wouldn’t let him stay with me after having to descend by myself. I’d kick him out without money for calling me names after his disrespect.
INFO: what is your relationship to each other? Friends, family, partners, …? How old are you?
You’re not compatible travelers. Find someone else next time
ESH. Really….you are not looking good in this story either. Never start a long hike late in the day. That is common sense….he clearly did not want to go hiking since he laid in bed all day and you rewarded him with breakfast. At that point you should have either decided to ditch him and go hiking on your own or bailed on the hike and done it the next day. And why are you traveling with someone who “claims to be broke”? Just don’t get into these situations. Everyone pays half for accommodations and food. You seem to be allowing him to act badly and your don’t say why….are you dating him? Trying to date him? What’s your motivation for traveling together?
YTA because you told him not to worry about money for accommodation and then kicked him out. Okay, he was annoying but your reaction was a bit over the top. You say you don’t want anyone to be homeless or out on the streets but that’s exactly what you did. You said you felt “uncomfortable” but he was supposedly your friend. I totally get that he was a jerk but you aren’t any better.