Good morning Reddit!
Throwaway account because I’m not sure who in my real life uses Reddit besides me.
As the title says, my (32F) husband’s (32M) mother (50F) has been “living” with us since we bought our house several years ago so she could “get back on her feet.”
I am not a dog person and never have been. I don’t want the responsibility of owning a dog, I don’t want to take her outside to use the bathroom, and I don’t want the daily care that comes with it. I was attacked by dogs as a child, which definitely does not help, but even without that history, I simply do not want a dog.
Despite this, my MIL’s dog has lived in our house the entire time. My husband made it clear from day one that the dog is not his responsibility and that he wants nothing to do with it, so she never asks him for help.
Over the roughly five years my MIL has “lived” with us, she has been home maybe a total of one month, and that is being generous. During that time, her dog stays shut in MIL’s bedroom, usually in the dark, and does little more than sleep. She is not played with, barely exercised, and is typically only taken outside once or twice a day when she is fed.
At first, I tried to help. I would take the dog outside and play with her when my MIL did not want to come home, mostly to keep the peace. Over time, that turned into expectation, and now the responsibility has completely fallen on me.
I am currently in my second trimester with my first child. I am high risk, my blood pressure is already dangerously high, and my stress levels are through the roof. The dog situation only makes this worse.
Recently, the dog has started shitting on our couches almost daily. She smells terrible, and when my MIL is home, which is rare, the dog yips, growls, cries, and bites at my MIL’s pant legs while trying to get her off the couch and away from her phone. It is very clear this dog is anxious, neglected, and miserable.
My MIL is fully aware of my pregnancy complications and stress. Despite this, she asks me every single day to feed and walk her dog, on weekdays when I work full time and on weekends when I am just trying to rest. This has become the number one trigger for my blood pressure issues.
I have had multiple blowups over this. I have told her repeatedly that she needs to rehome the dog because the dog is living an unhappy and unhealthy life and I cannot keep doing this, especially while pregnant. Every time, she promises she will do better, and after maybe a week everything falls back on me.
My husband is tired of arguing about this, even though most of the time I am not looking for a fight. I am just looking for someone to acknowledge how overwhelming this has become. Anytime I bring it up to my husband, I am treated like I am being unreasonable. Anytime I bring it up to my MIL, I am accused of being mean.
So, Reddit, AITA?