I am living in a small town with a poor social scene. I was trying to meet people as I don’t know many people or have chance to meet them, I tried to start a coffee morning. As I have fear of being alone my plan was to take laptop to cofeeshop to work and announce it on fb.
unfortunately, the owner of the shop has complained as it is having a negative effect (people are not coming at the time because they think the place is full when in fact no one ever turned up and was the complete opposite of what i wanted.) however she seemed quite upset that i didn’t clear it first. I didn’t even think of that. I figured they be fine with people meeting in the coffeeshop and having coffees. Am I the arsehole? Being autistic I’m not good at social skills
Gentle YTA because you didn’t clear it with the coffee shop first. Any time you’re planning any sort of gathering of more than just you and a friend or two in a place of business, you need to clear it with the business.
You didnt ask the owner or any members of the staff before setting up the meetings? YTA, come on.
YTA. That is a business, not your private home. You didn’t speak to the owner, and caused business loss, and don’t seem to get why it’s a problem.
Yea it’s one thing if you meet up with a few friends. This sounds more like some large gathering of 10+ people. Many coffee shops aren’t large. One group like that and most the tables are gone.
Wait what? This is really bizarre. You don’t need the owner’s permission to ask someone to meet you at a coffee shop. NTA.
YTA. Were you an AH for the attempt? No. If after finding out its hurting the coffee shop you do anything other than stop, of course your the asshole.
ESH- Yes you should have cleared it first but honestly you didn’t even know if it would amount to anything yet. The owner sounds like an asshole. You don’t treat patrons with contempt. He could have handled it more professionally. My advice is go somewhere else and ask them if they mind if you bring them some business on a slow part of a slow day. If you’re successful then the owner of the other place will miss out.
YTA this was a bad idea (people don’t want to mix work and social and can’t socialize with strangers meaningfully while working) and poorly executed (didn’t clear it with the business and lost them money). What you’re describing sounds like having an in office work experience with people you don’t actually work with and also in a coffee shop taking up their tables for long amounts of time for small orders. Nobody wants to meet up and hang out while you work on your laptop. I’m not understanding how you thought this would work out.
OP only brought their computer to work on so that they had something to do it no one showed up.
They don’t want to have a work party. They just want to meet new people over coffee.
They brought their computer to have something to do incase no one showed up.
Why did people not turn up/think the place was full? because they saw the meet up message on face book? How would the owners know about this?
This is really odd.
Was this an organized event you hosted or was it just something you and a few friends put together?
If it’s the former, YTA. You can’t just try hosting events at someone else’s property without permission.
Info: Where did you post about this meetup? Was it on your own FB page or the coffee shop’s FB page?
YTA. Coffee shops are not event spaces and if you want to host an event at a business you always need to clear it with them first. Common sense I fear
NTA. You’re allowed to have a meet up at a public place. I honestly can’t imagine that people are avoiding the coffee shop because of a post on a social media platform..