I have a ball python named Precious. I took her with me to my mother’s house last night. My mother loves Precious so she took some pictures with her and posted them to her profile. My aunt (her younger sister) made some nasty comments saying that any snake around her is a dead snake. She also went on in a second comment to call Precious "The Devil’s ancestor" and said that we "need to rebuke that thing and go ahead and put that foot right on \[her\] head!" I responded with "Don’t want her around you? Don’t come around. Simple as that."
I would have left it at that but, a few hours later, she leaves another comment saying that she was just joking and that it’s sad that she can’t joke around with her own sister (my mom) without me making a big deal of it. I don’t see a short three sentence response as making it a big deal but GO OFF, AUNTIE!
You see, my aunt is one of those people who always has to be the center of attention. At my wedding, when my husband and I didn’t shove cake in each others faces (per my request) she took it upon herself to walk up to us and do it herself. When my cousin announced her pregnancy at our family Christmas party, she couldn’t allow her to have her moment without saying that her DIL was also expecting, even though DIL was not ready to announce yet given a number of previous miscarriages (she ended up miscarrying that one too, God bless her). No matter how bad you have it, she has it worse, or no matter what successes you have, she’s doing better. Also, now that I am divorced, she always has something judgemental to say about my love life even though she’s gone to bed with just about every man who’s so much as looked her way since her own divorce. I’m not one to sl\*t shame, but don’t throw sl\*t stones at me when you live in a sl\*t house.
So this is where I might be the ahole. Given all of my past negative experiences with my aunt, her threats to my Precious noodle baby was the last straw. I responded to her "It’S jUsT a JoKe, BrO" BS with the following comment:
"Jokes are okay. Death threats are not. I realize snakes aren’t for everybody but I love her. My pet is a member of my household and you threatened her TWICE. I might have let the first comment slide as "Oh, whatever. That’s just my crazy aunt runnin off at the mouth" but then you brought religion in for the second one and that made it feel more serious. And saying "It’s just a joke" after getting called out is toxic. It’s not just this snake thing. You have a habit of taking your "jokes" too far."
So what do y’all think? AITA or does everybody just suck here?
Obviously NTA. It doesn’t matter if it’s snake, cat, dog, or a hermit crab. Never threaten, even jokingly, someone’s pet!
your aunt sounds like a right old cow.
nta, she sucks donkey butt
NTA Your aunt continues to “joke” because everyone lets her get away with it. Somebody was bound to get fed up enough at some point. If it hadn’t been you, it would have been another family member. Or, worse, a stranger who wouldn’t have been so nice.
NTA— she wasn’t joking. she doesn’t want to get yelled at. I would just respond with “not everything‘s about you Aunt, some of us have lives outside of you that are quite enjoyable“
Nta. You don’t threaten a family members pets. Ever
NTA. Anyone who threatens your pets has a screw loose and needs to be handled accordingly.
NTA. Your aunt pushed your buttons and you responded reasonably. Keep standing up for your noodles, they need love too. Just because it’s ‘family’, doesn’t mean they get a pass on being rude. Better she learns to respect your boundaries this way than finding out the hard way when Precious gets peckish!
NTA though there was a whole lot more snake in this story than needed to Bo.
NTA
If you have any pet outside the norm, some asshole will show up out of the woodwork to suggest you should kill it, eat it or to tell you a horrific story about how they killed a similar animal
NTA. You don’t threaten someone’s pet. She likes being brash and saying what she thinks and getting attention for it, but not all attention is going to be positive.
NTA. I would do the same to anyone who insulted my Little Dude (I have a ball python named Little Dude). He’s my pride and joy, if someone feels that way about harming snakes (iT’s JuSt A pRaNk, HaN’) or talking about them like that then they will not come to my place, simple as that.
Anyone else would feel the same if someone made comments about a regular dog or cat or bird – and there’s a much smaller chance being bit by a ball python to begin with than the majority of “normal” domestic pets.
That’s your baby, which makes them family.
NTA. My mom (and honestly my eldest sister too, though she wasn’t weirdly dramatic about it) had a severe phobia of snakes, to the point of threatening peoples pet snake—then trying to play it off as a joke.
I have a severe phobia of spiders, roaches, butterflies, and ladybugs. I just try to avoid them and find ways to get them away from where I live, get them released deep in the woods. Perhaps I’m just a softie, but it feels weird to kill them, and I’d end up feeling guilty if I did. A month ago I was carefully inching towards a spider, Tupperware in hand and I pleaded quietly, “Just don’t move, don’t jump… stay put. I’m as scared of you as you are of me.” Scooped it up and closed the lid, then called one of my roommates to take it out to release it at the edge of the woods.
Both my roommates actually like insects and arachnids of various types, so they are always amused I’m terrified of those specific ones, yet I still don’t want them hurt. Meanwhile, let a wasp get in the house? I just put a bottle cap containing sugar water in my palm, hold still until it crawls up to get a drink, and then I carefully carry it outside while whispering soothingly to it, then I place it and the bottle cap in a safe spot.
You weren’t an asshole, but do keep in mind your aunt likely has a phobia and due to her overall personality struggles to express it in a mature fashion.
NTA: ermmmm I would go to WAR for my animals. Snakes, dogs, cats, reptiles etc.
As a Christian… idk what tf she’s on but my house doesn’t claim her.
My mom was traumatized with snakes by her older brothers when she was young (they held her down and put some on her face.)
My youngest son, who lives with us, has a Ball Python (he named her “Elmer’s Glue” I have no clue why?!)
Anyway, mom has never said anything mean about the snake, she just doesn’t want to see it. No problem. She knows it’s in his room and he will not bring EG out if grandma is visiting. It’s kinda like everyone being adult about it! NTA