TW: Dead animal mentioned
My family adopted two cats named Nino and Cleo in 2018 (Cleo died in 2019). We live in a small village with like a thousand residents. While we don’t usually let our cats roam free, Nino was the type of cat who simply needed some freedom. We couldn’t force him to stay inside, really. He usually returned every day for cuddles and food. That went quite smoothly and we never had any issues.
It started with our neighbours (an elderly couple living a block away), ringing our doorbell to talk about Nino in 2019. We have never interacted before, yet they were in love with his looks. They were cat owners too and asked, if we were interested in giving Nino away to them. We denied politely. That was the first red flag.
A jump forward to like 2021. Nino needed surgery for his hip and we had to keep him in a cage (and inside) to prevent him from moving too much in the span of one month. Our neighbours ended up at our door once more, asking about "Willy’s whereabouts". You heard correctly. Those neighbours were at a point where they renamed OUR cat and acted like he’s up for grabs. Second red flag. But we denied them any information again.
Another jump to 2023. Nino was gone for a few days, which got us all concerned. It was extremely unusual. We then saw a Facebook post, from our neighbours, about their missing cat. Nino/Willy. That was the last straw. My parents got incredibly mad and my mother called them out over the phone. She told them that they don’t have the right to behave like this, since they the official owners.
They started calling us names. "You don’t care for your cat!", "We went around in all the cities to look for the doctor you claimed to go to for surgery!", "Abusers!", etc. We then found out that they actually took Nino to the vet themselves to get him VACCINATED AND MEDICATED without having any medical history of his.
My family and my neighbours eventually promised each other to update one another because at the end of the day, we all cared about Nino’s safety. We all just wanted him to be okay.
Another week passed. We were starting to loose hope. My aunt then called us (since she’s a volunteer at the animal shelter) and broke the news. A farmer found a dead cat in a field. It was Nino, my aunt could confirm it through pictures later on because she wasn’t working that day. The farmer then saw the Facebook post of our neighbours and proceeded to give Nino’s body to them.
They buried him. They took his body and dug him a grave in their garden. Without ever informing us. They don’t know that we know to this day. I cried really hard because all I wanted was to say goodbye to him. He was a part of our family. They took him away from us.
I hate my neighbours. I wanted Nino to be buried next to his sister, Cleo. But on the other hand, my neighbours loved him too. Nino is at peace now and that’s all that matters…
So, AITA for despising those people? For them caring about my cat as much as I did?
EDIT: I was around 11-14 when everything went down. I unfortunately wasn’t mature enough to take matters into my own hands and support my cat correctly. He was also neutered and vaccinated, just not chipped (but with a tag). He also wasn’t an indoor cat. From the moment the shelter took him in, he was unhappy with staying inside. There was not a lot I could do anymore after we adopted him. We did try different methods, but it was useless. He was born on the streets after all and was more comfortable outside. We have a cat now who isn’t allowed to leave the house. I make sure of that now that I know better.
EDIT 2: Thank you guys for being so honest and direct. I really needed that after those few years of sucking it in. I loved Nino with all my heart and I hope at least one of you can learn from my mistakes. I just really missed him today. I still don’t know if I can forgive my neighbours for never telling us the truth, but I now have another perspective of things. I appreciate your feedback. 🤍
YTA keep your cat inside.
ESH. Them for trying to steal your cat and you for letting your cat outdoors in the first place.
YTA. There’s a reason why any self respecting vet tells cat owners to keep their cats inside. Is it always easy? No, but it has to be done. All of this (including the cat’s death) could have been avoided if you and your parents had kept him indoors.
ESH. If you allow an unleashed animal to roam freely outsode you give up claim to it.
YTA. Someone correct if I’m wrong, but if you have this vibrant of a Facebook community, you likely are in a part of the world where chipping pets is easy and common. So you had a cat just roaming around FOR YEARS unchipped and are upset that someone found them and not it vaccinated?
Your entire ire is that they LIKED the cat you were neglecting. Had someone who hated the cat got and took it to get vaccinated and other basic stray cat medicial care, your failure to keep your cat inside and failure to chip so a vet would know its history would make you very very much the asshole.
You don’t get to find a villain because someone other than you actually cared about the cat.
Your aunt works at an animal shelter and is ok with your ways??? Just sad.
ESH. Keep your cat(s) indoors and none of this would have been an issue, including his death.
They’re off their senile rockers but I would still call them out for their behavior both before and after.
ESH
Keep your cat inside your house. Letting it roam is what got you into this mess.
ESH.
Many people would say that you didn’t take proper care of Nino.
Any male cat who is not neutered will want to roam. Female cats also, but only when in heat (a few days every 3 weeks or so). So if you want to keep cats indoors, you need to have them spayed/neutered. If you’re going to let them out, then ALSO you need to spay or neuter them, so they don’t produce litter after litter of unwanted kittens.
If you believe that neutering animals or keeping them inside is cruel, then you are giving them autonomy. Which is fine, but in that case you don’t really own them. And in that case you can’t be mad if they find another neighbor who feeds them or loves them or cares for them.
It’s not your neighbor’s fault that the farmer found their facebook page. And it’s not their fault that they decided to bury the cat.
However, they ARE AH for not letting you know what happened to your cat.
ESH…your neighbours were wrong and unhinged but this never would have happened if you had kept your cat indoors.
Two things can be true and it looks like you recognize the part you played in this.
You aren’t wrong for being sad about the situation or upset about their actions but you need to this be a lesson to you in the future.
YTA in the first place. You mention all these issues with your cat which would mostly be non-existent if you kept it indoors where it belongs. It’s not good for the environment or the cat keeping them outside. If you let your cat roam for weeks at a time it’s really not your cat at that point. Do better and treat your pets better.
Outdoor cat owners playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes
ESH. I’m really sorry about Nino and I understand what it is like to have a rebellious cat who wants to roam as they please, but this is why we have catios and fencing. It stops your cat from causing trouble with the neighbours, getting stolen or losing a fight either way an oncoming car.
Your neighbours are on another level of entitlement though.
YTA and so are they.
This is what happens when you don’t keep your animals in your house. If they roam, they become fair game (for other humans, cars, predators, etc). You could have kept that cat indoors.
ESH – cats are extremely bad for local wildlife and should never be allowed to roam free like that.
YOU should have kept your pet controlled.
THEY were super weird and inappropriate with an animal that clearly didnt belong to them.
You are allowed to hate them – but it was ultimately your responsibility to look after your cat and protect it and you failed to do so