Almost three years ago, I moved back to my parents house after living in another country. Not long after that, my cousin (who was 23 at the time) moved in with us because her job is much closer to our house than to hers. She’s from another city. We weren’t very close before, but I loved her and didn’t mind at first. It was actually nice having company and things were peaceful. The house has multiple rooms, but each room is already assigned to someone, so she ended up sleeping in my room which has a bunk bed so we’ve been sharing the same room ever since. This has honestly been really hard for me. I barely have any privacy and she sleeps very early every day. so the time I can spend in my own room depends on when she comes home and goes to sleep. I was (and still am) REALLY frustrated about this, but I try to be patient and not complain. One day we were at her parents house and she seemed tense and was acting weird. so my older sister (who sometimes also stays at our house) and I asked her what was wrong. She suddenly EXPLODED at us and started screaming, saying we treat her like a stranger! I was literally in complete shock because my family treats her exactly like one of us. My mom buys her the same things she buys for me and my siblings, gives her money, and includes her in literally everything. I let her use my makeup and wear my clothes, which I never allow anyone to do. We genuinely treat her like a sister. What she was actually upset about was that we don’t tell her every single detail about everything going on in our lives. Some of the things she was mad about were honestly none of her business at all. She also brought up that my sister once told me something very private before telling everyone else, and when it eventually came out my cousin was angry that I knew first like what??? There are a lot more incidents like this that I can’t fit into one post, but during that argument she said some really hurtful things. It made me feel like I saw her true self and since then I just haven’t been able to feel the same way about her.
This happened a few months ago. Now we’re talking normally again, and she’s back living in the house as if nothing happened. But really I feel very different. I feel uncomfortable, annoyed, and emotionally distant, and I honestly wish she didn’t live with us anymore.
So, AITA for not liking my cousin anymore and feeling this way, even though we’re acting very normal on the surface?
NTA but if you have the problem you move out or discuss it with your parents as far as options since they are the ones in charge of who gets to stay in their house.
im too young to move to another place also i have a whole empty house why would i move out if i can yk? she’s grown if anyones supposed to leave it her obviously
You aren’t old enough to move to another place, but you moved back to your parents after living in another country???
NTA but there’s really nothing you can do if it’s your parent’s house. Especially if you don’t pay rent. If you’re an adult best you can do is move yourself.
that’s not really a thing here in my country. my parents themselves don’t like her anymore but they can’t kick her out
Why can’t they kick her out? Is it that they don’t want to be seen as bad by other family members, a legal thing, etc. is she going to be living with your parents basically forever?
Well in that case you really do have no choice but to just accept it until you’re able to move out yourself.
no no she’s moving out in april!! also thats js the way my parents are unfortunately but my dad is also doing that for his brother and she’s still his niece at the end of the day
NTA you don’t have to like anyone even if its family.
I’m not sure of the timeline of said living situation for either of you, but my best advice is stay cordial for the sake of the house and your own sanity and leave it at that.
If she blows up again I would kindly remind her that certain conversations are not ment to be everyone’s business and that if she does feel “left out” or what have you that she should communicate promptly. Similarly for you, if she starts behaving in a manner that requires some communication, try and do so as well so you don’t end up blowing up either!
You and your cousin are both on your 20s but share a room with bunk beds?
Move out. Grow up.
why would you assume that im on my 20s💔 also whats wrong with bunk beds?
Nta you don’t have to like everyone
NTA. I would talk to your parents about what is going on and how you feel. Best of luck and I really hope they have your back.
Well you’ve left out some important information that people might not see if they don’t go through all the comments. Namely:
-your siblings aren’t in the house. So you often sleep in a sibling’s room but want to sleep in your own.
-Your parents travel
-You offered to let cousin share your room. Yes it’s fair to want your room back after 3 years, but it’s not like she ended up in your room randomly.
-*she’s moving out in April*
That last one is key. After 3 years just wait the 2 months until she’s gone. Until then sleep in an empty room. You’re NTA but it seems like the easiest solution here is to just wait it out until she’s gone. Being polite to people you don’t really care for but have to be around is a valuable life skill, especially once you enter the workforce.