For the past five days, I’ve been stressed out over my friend’s current predicament with her living situation. She has no job, no vehicle, and is apparently on the brink of being kicked out onto the streets. She’s an aspiring digital artist that relies on commissions and her partners to survive.
I decided to donate what I could to her GoFundMe, help spread the word through my circles, and got in touch with our mutuals over BlueSky. I talked to a third one, and I unintentionally came off as blunt discussing the situation. My other two talks were for the majority very amicable.
My friend apparently does not see it that way, and after roughly two weeks of ghosting me, simply says, "Stop harassing my friends". Shs said that I came across as "weird" to them, that her financial situation isn’t my business.
No thanks or gratitude whatsoever, not that I expected it. I’ve made the call to revoke my donation now.
I found it difficult to differentiate between the people you were communicating with. Please label them A, B, C, D.
Theres far more to this story which you’re not disclosing, such as why this has leapt to a charge of harassment.
It was nice of you to make a donation. Why should any of this nonsense affect you wishing to support your friend? The other people in this story are making no financial gain.
What are you talking about charge of harassment. There’s nothing about that in the OP or any comments.
Yta. Everything in this is about you. Her financial situation is stressing you out, but you don’tsay anything about how it’s affecting her. One of her friends was weird to you. Donating to her GoFundMe was nice, but since she didn’t thank you for insisting that her friends help her financially, you’re taking your money back. (You say you didn’t expect gratitude, but…)
Did you stop to consider that being broke is humiliating, and maybe she didn’t want someone to step in and tell everyone she knows all about it? Did she tell you she wanted you to talk to her friends?
YTA. You are making your friend’s problem about you. You didn’t just give money and share the gofundme. You got pushy and she told you to stop then you got offended. She’s going through a lot and might not want people feeling like they have to give her money. She’s not responding because she’s busy trying to survive. The fact that you want to take the money back means you gave with the expectation of getting something out of this transaction. If you are going to help someone- give freely and don’t have expectations. Not expectations that it will get you a certain amount of interact or thanks. When people are in crisis they don’t have the energy for that.
If you don’t have the money. Then don’t give. If you think someone is a scammer then don’t give. But if you give- it’s not about you. Let it go.