My sister has 2 kids, 4 and 1. Ever since she got pregnant about 5 years ago, she pivots every conversation to pregnancy, breast feeding, her kids, etc. We have a family group chat and it happens any time I try to text about something, no matter how important. When people are responding to me, she brings up something about being a mother and everyone drops what I was saying and moves on to her.
It’s been annoying me for a while. This has happened for pretty much any conversation that happens. It only doesn’t happen if she is asleep or not on her phone, so that’s not often. She did it after I got engaged, when I was talking about my new job, when I am talking about my health, when I bought a house, etc.
At the start of this week I found out intense restructuring is happening at the company I work at and my job situation is up in the air. I’ve obviously been very stressed about it and wanted to vent/get advice from family members who have been in the workforce longer than I have.
After no messages all day, I text the group chat. I sent a couple messages back and forth with a couple people in the group. Then my sister sends a picture of her baby talking about how he wants some milk. Conversations then turns to be about the baby and l just got really upset because it happened once again especially because I could tell by the lighting in the picture that it was taken hours earlier.
I privately texted her asking “for once can a conversation be about me without you mommyjacking it?” She told me I need to grow up and that not everything is about me. She apparently then called our mom to tell her about it and my mom told me I was an asshole to send that text and that I need to “lighten up”. I’m assuming word got around because now no one will respond to anything I say in the group chat.
AITA for telling my sister to stop mommyjacking every conversation and to let me talk about my life?
nTA. That kind of behavior is 100% attention seeking and deliberate and not an accident either. Also, I’m going to add that the family members aren’t all that innocent either because they shouldn’t just be immediately diverting to whatever the sister says when the moment isn’t hers. They should be calling that behavior out.
Maybe sis is the golden child? Indulged golden kids can be very boring to hang out with. They are so used to being coddled they can’t share the floor. I’ve stopped being friends with some women for this, they disappeared so far up their babies asses they never came out. I only know one mother that will want to talk about you and anything other than her kids! She wants to feel like a woman with friends and a life. Not someone who can only talk about mom life.
NTA
> She told me I need to grow up and that not everything is about me
She says this while always making everything about herself… That should tell you everything you need to know about them. I might have said stop mommyjacking my convo in the group chat as I’m sure you aren’t the only one thinking she does it, though that could just invite drama if everyone sides with her on everything.
NTA.
But I would just find your support in individuals and not the group as a whole. If you have a favourite aunt or a cousin who’s been through something similar or a conversation to your mom one on one.
This gives your sister NO opportunity to hijack you and two, it’s less of an “into the void” kind of thing.
This is the way. Strengthen your relationships and reach out to them one on one. You’re bound to get more advice and individual perspectives by going outside the group chat.
NTA but honestly, if you’re needing an in depth chat and support a group chat is not the place.
I think “mommyjacking” is my new favourite word to describe narcissistic new mothers! NTA
I think “mommyjacking” is my new favourite word to describe narcissistic new mothers! NTA
Editing to say thank you for the awards! ❤️
I had no idea what it meant at first and didn’t relate it to hijacking. My mind went to broken arms
If she did that kind of mommyjacking I’d be so supportive
ETA: holy shit I read this comment SO wrong. I know the reference. I just read it as she is a mom who gets jacked with big muscles. And the arms feel broken because she worked out so hard! Not the other Reddit story 😭
I feel shame because I know that lore!
Bah. I had a girl in one of my college courses like that. I finally got fed up with every discussion assignment turning into her kids that I finally said, “Are you really so boring that the only thing you can think to talk about are the times you were too stupid to use protection? ” I got in trouble with the professor, but it was worth it to shut her up.
I had someone who usually interjected often with “as a mother I think *insert some inane banality*”. Damn that got annoying really quick.
NTA, but your sister sounds insufferable.
NTA
But I would leave the chat and not come back when they pull the surprise pikachu.