My partner and I took a road trip last weekend for a winter sport event we both love. We arrived the night before the event and he really wanted to put on reality shows at the rental so we watched those until he fell asleep. The next night after the event and dinner he did the exact same thing. He watched them for hours before falling asleep.
I confronted him the following morning about not really feeling like we were present with each other and felt no romance.
He mentioned it’s my fault because I introduced him to reality tv and now that’s what he prefers to escape stress after a difficult week at work. He also mentioned he talked to me during dinner both nights and he should be able to watch his shows afterwords since talking during dinner is being present according to him.
Thing is I used to watch trashy reality shows once every a few months until this past year. My partner started watching them with me and now has become totally hooked and keeps finding new series to binge watch each night. He watches them more than I do and now it’s also become a thing during a weekend getaway meant for us to connect. He ruined reality tv for me which used to be an occasional treat a few times a year.
Am I the jerk for watching reality trashy tv around my boyfriend and expecting him to be more present/romantic on our trip?
NTA, isn’t the point of the trip so that both him and you could relax
NTA. His blaming you for his lack of interest and participation in your relationship is asinine. Talking to you during dinner isn’t enough. He’s checked out.
So in both instances, you guys spent the entire day together and dinner, but then he wasn’t present because he was watching reality TV at night in bed?
No sex for him. Ever!
My thought also
NTA sorry OP, your boyfriend is checked out 😞
Try to talk to him that talking during dinner isn’t enough and actual connection is what you need to be secure in the relationship.
Is there sex involved here somewhere? That can be pretty romantic. If so, when? If not, why not?
The sex probably would have happened during the time reality tv was on. 😅 After the event, after dinner, before bed.
NTA. Even if he began watching reality because of you he seems to have abandoned everything else.
NTA – a preference of watching trash tv while on holiday paints him as an incredibly boring person
So he went on a weekend trip expecting a fun sport event and relaxation and you went on a trip to a sport event expecting deep romantic connection? Did he know this was your expectation? I’d say a bit YTA. Communicate better don’t ’confront’ each other.
Definitely missing context INFO. You say first it’s a road trip to see a winter sports event, then you say it’s a getaway for the two of you to connect. Was that discussed, or was that just your intent with it? Maybe he just saw it as a weekend away for this sport event. You mention him using reality TV as an escape from stress, if he’s highly stressed at the moment, and you’re wanting him to make romantic effort, it’s possible he doesn’t have the energy or mental capacity for that right now? Have you been making romantic effort with him?
Excessively watching these shows is less likely to be the problem, and more likely to be a symptom of something more, which could be a him issue, a you issue, or a relationship issue, it’s hard to say. And the answer to that is what’s likely to tell who, if anyone, is the asshole in this situation.